Monthly Archives: December 2024

A Little Thing Called First Love

Standard

Disclaimer: this is a review, and as such it contains spoilers of the whole series. Please proceed to read at your own risk if you still plan on watching this show or if you haven’t finished it yet. You have been warned.

A Little Thing Called First Love
(初恋那件小事 / Chu Lian Na Jian Xiao Shi)
MyDramaList rating: 7.0/10

Hello hello, it’s time for one final review to wrap up 2024! When this show popped up on my Wheel of Fortune app, I was excited to end the year with a light and cute romance story because it really fit my mood after going through the heavy theme of my previous watch. It took me about three weeks to finish it because it’s quite lengthy and I also took some breaks in-between, but it was a really nice and cozy watch and I’m excited to share my thoughts on it. I was happy to find another Chinese romcom that I liked as much as I did Perfect and Casual earlier this year. I hope I can find more of these! I generally like the kind of story that focuses on the growth of its characters throughout several chapters of their life while holding onto something pure like their first love. It’s a genre that I’ve seen before in several Chinese shows like Love til the End of Summer, A Love So Beautiful and With You and I find it really comforting to watch. This show was no exception, so let’s just dive into it, shall we?

A Little Thing Called First Love is a Chinese drama series of 36 episodes that each last about 45 minutes -you can find it in really good quality on YouTube. I personally watched it on the KUKAN Drama Romance channel but there’s multiple channels that have the full series with decent English subtitles.
The series is about a girl called Xia Miao Miao (played by Zhao Jin Mai) and her navigation through life and love. The story starts when she and her family – consisting of father, mother and younger sister – move to a new home in Haicheng. Miao Miao’s father (Zhao Ke) works at sea and they’ve moved closer to his new work base. Her mother (Wang Yi Chan) opens a little restaurant where Miao Miao and her little sister Yao Yao (Zhang Zi Yu) occasionally help out. By the way, I noticed that their mother called them Xia Liu Shui and Xia San Tu respectively, so I guess those are their real names and Miao Miao and Yao Yao are their nicknames, but since they are mostly referred to by their nicknames I’ll just stick with those.
Miao Miao is initially a shy teenager with frizzy curly hair, big round glasses and crooked teeth. She gets along well with her sister and has one good friend from her previous living place, Lin Xia (played by Wang Yi Miao) with whom she keeps in touch through video call. On the day they move in, Miao Miao catches a glimpse of a handsome boy on the street and is immediately smitten with him. This boy is Liang You Nian (played by Lai Guan Lin). He is one year older than Miao Miao, and a senior at her new high school. He’s basically the school’s golden boy, popular for both his looks and his skills, and the son of a famous architect to boot. Miao Miao is enthralled by him from the start, also because he seems to be a genuinely kind and polite person to whoever he meets, including her.
As Miao Miao starts school, she makes a new friend in her class, He Xin, nicknamed Xin Xin (played by Chai Wei), who happens to be You Nian’s cousin and who is very supportive of Miao Miao’s feelings for him. At the same time, Xin Xin herself is forever pining for her childhood friend Lin Kai Tuo (played by Wang Run Ze). You Nian and Kai Tuo used to be good friends, but things soured between them when You Nian’s dad (Liu Xu) and Kai Tuo’s mom (Ran Qian) suddenly got together after You Nian’s mom passed away and Kai Tuo’s dad bailed on them after getting himself into massive debts. As such, You Nian and Kai Tuo have become stepbrothers and this has ruined their friendship, causing mainly Kai Tuo to derail and become very ill-tempered – he only ever comes to class to sleep and yell at people and he refuses to accept his new family. At school, Xin Xin is the only one to ever stand up for him, but he doesn’t even appreciate that. When Miao Miao becomes his new deskmate in class, she also becomes his new object of bullying, especially when he realizes she likes You Nian, who is now his mortal enemy.
This is basically the setup of the story and how all the characters first meet and establish their bonds. While her crush on You Nian deepens, Miao Miao gradually gains confidence and literally transforms as she goes on to college. With the help of Xin Xin and Xia, who joins them in college, Miao Miao comes out of her shell in terms of both appearance and personality. She gets braces, she gets lenses, she learns how to style her hair and use make-up, and while she’s initially forced by her mom to join the Architecture department for its higher career ratings, Miao Miao ultimately decides to follow her heart and switch to her original choice, Fashion Design, where her heart truly lies.
In essence, the story depicts how Miao Miao, guided by her first love, gradually grows and matures as a person who’s capable of making her own decisions and following her own dreams. In the meantime the relationship between her and You Nian deepens, and we follow the stories of their friends as they navigate through their own struggles in life and love as well.

I just want to quickly mention beforehand how much I enjoyed watching this. It was incredibly wholesome and I loved how well-established all the characters and their respective storylines were. I’m not sure how to describe it, but it came across to me as if the writers truly cherished the characters and put a lot of feeling into each and every one of them, which in turn made me care for each and every one of them as well. I haven’t felt like this before with a Chinese drama to this extent, so I thought that was really special. Also, I thought it was nice how they managed to keep a romantic relationship so compelling without even going past the pureness of it. Like, there aren’t any real kissing scenes in it, only pecks on the cheek and forehead, but this only contributed to the innocence and sweetness of it all. It was just stinking cute.
On the other hand, in order to not just make it a cute, innocent slowburn romance, they actually properly used the screentime they got and filled it with significant storylines that contributed to the backgrounds and development of all the characters. They balanced it out very well in my opinion. I’ll give some concrete examples later on, but I just really appreciated how much effort the writers and creators put into establishing this story. Compared to my frustration with the lack of consistency in Road to Rebirth, I kept getting positively surprised by how much this series paid attention to detail and that only added to the quality of it. Honestly, for a romantic comedy I thought this show was very well-made in terms of storywriting and character building, not to mention the acting and other things like music and cinematography. I had a really good time watching it.

Since this series is mainly based on the development of its characters and their relationships, I’d like to also structure this review as such, by focussing on each character and their respective friend/relationships.
Starting with our heroine, Miao Miao. One thing I genuinely liked about her character was that, despite her initial depiction as an ugly duckling, from the start she was never a pathetic or weak character. Her shyness and timidness may have been emphasized through her softening towards You Nian, but she always had the strength and confidence to stand up for herself and others. For example, I really liked the way she kept reaching out to Xin Xin and made it clear how much she wanted to be her friend, which naturally melted away Xin Xin’s initial prejudices against her. If she was interested in someone, she made it clear to that person in the most genuine way, and if she wasn’t interested in someone, she didn’t hesitate for a second to make that clear as well – I thought that was a very nice characteristic of her.
It’s funny how Miao Miao ultimately became to others the kind of person You Nian had been to her – in the end she became such a confident and skilled college senior that she started receiving love confessions from her own juniors. It was really wholesome to see her develop and mature in such a humble way, by only focussing on her own goals and trying not to pay too much attention to what others were doing. She never became the kind of person who would sabotage someone else to come out better herself (looking at you, Tang Meng Fei 👀), but she really worked hard to become better at what she wanted to become better at.
I think it was also very characteristic for her to initially get swept away in something but then adapt halfway as she figured out what she really wanted to do. Honestly, the fact that her mom just registered her for Architecture because it had the highest career rates was pretty crazy, but Miao Miao actually gave it a go before she came to the realization that she preferred Fashion Design, after all. It’s not like she became a passive “ugh I’m forced to do something I don’t actually want” kind of person, no, she really tried her best at Architecture, and then found the answer within herself that it was mostly You Nian keeping her in that department and that it wasn’t her real passion, after all. I thought it was nice that we as viewers followed Miao Miao on her journey, trying and figuring out this and that until she finally found what she really wanted to do and who she really wanted to be.
After stories like Itazura na Kiss and Koi wa Tsuzuku yo Dokomademo, where the female lead blindly follows the male lead into his occupation, it was really refreshing to see a female lead actually come to the realization that she wanted to do something different after following the male lead into his world. Both in terms of Miao Miao’s individual development and as a nice shift for romantic comedies in general, it was cool that they gave the female lead full authority over her own life and choices rather than just make her blindly follow the male lead in whatever he did. I liked that development a lot and it really made me respect Miao Miao at the end. She worked so hard to get to the point where she could excel at fashion design, which is what she always loved to do and where her true strengths lay.
You could say it’s a pretty accurate depiction of life as well: sometimes you need to try out some things you’re not passionate about before realizing where your heart truly lies. I’ve experienced that personally as well, I’ve done loads of things I didn’t actually like and it took me some time but as soon as I realized what I really wanted to do, it all started going smoothly because of the skills I’d already been honing for that very thing. So yeah, I really related to Miao Miao in that aspect, and that’s why I ended up respecting her so much. It was very wholesome to watch her bloom, both in appearance and in confidence. Having said that, I do have to say that I preferred her frizzy curly hair to the basic coupe she donned towards the end, I thought it was a pity that they took her iconic look away 😆.
In terms of consistency I also thought it was nice that her fashion design dream didn’t just come out of nowhere, but that it started with her making clothes for Yao Yao’s Barbie dolls when they were kids. They gradually built up this element from the start and this made it even more rewarding to watch her develop her skills and ambitions throughout the story.
Another characteristic of Miao Miao that I liked was how straightforward she became when it came to setting her boundaries. It was really satisfying to see how decisive she was when she ultimately confessed to You Nian, rejected Kai Tuo, and reprimanded You Nian for making her decision to go to the UK alone for her instead of with her. She became such a mature person, speaking her truth and standing up for what she felt and wanted, and that was really gratifying to see after experiencing her whole transformational journey with her.

In terms of the relationship between Miao Miao and You Nian, I think this series is the perfect example of the trope “she fell first but he fell harder”. I thought the buildup between them was very natural and gradual, and I actually liked that it took You Nian a while to get there, because that somehow made it more realistic. There’s no doubt that he started liking her way before he admitted it to himself – as he also says in the final episode – but at the beginning it was very clear that he was just being nice to her without any romantic intentions. He really just saw her as a younger sister, like he saw Xin Xin.
What made it so satisfying was that, the moment he realized he had feelings for Miao Miao, she had already become so comfortable in her own feelings for him that she wasn’t even putting in that much effort anymore. Miao Miao was already a much more confident person following her own dreams when You Nian’s focus finally shifted to her, and then he suddenly became the flustered awkward one whenever she came close to him. I really liked seeing that shift, how Miao Miao, without even realizing it herself, became the one to catch You Nian off guard. This made their relationship so much more interesting and exciting to watch than if it had just been Miao Miao pining for him for the entirety of the story.
I think that when you have a lengthy show that focuses mainly on the slowburn between two characters, it’s tricky to keep it exciting throughout – you have to think of ways to keep it interesting and not drag it out or make it tedious. Continuous misunderstandings can get very tiring at some point, but I thought this show did a very good job at keeping it interesting. Even the misunderstandings didn’t get tedious because they were solved very quickly and neatly, without even necessitating a serious talk between the characters. For example, the way Miao Miao found out that You Nian’s Doraemon flower bouquet had been meant for her after all, and the way You Nian found out that the chocolates Miao Miao gave Kai Tuo on Valentine’s Day were actually from Xin Xin. Instead of creating an even bigger drama about it and making the misunderstanding bigger and bigger, I liked that they just “happened” to find out the truth indirectly, allowing them to heave a sigh of relief and move on without any further issues. It kept the story going whilst keeping it exciting, and I liked that a lot.

I liked that it kind of shifted to You Nian’s perpsective at some point and we got an insight into his psyche as well. From the start he’s consistently depicted as the stereotypical “perfect” senior through Miao Miao’s perspective. Even though he’s initially also not stoked about his new family arrangement, he doesn’t make a fuss about it as much as Kai Tuo does, and he generally keeps a cool and clear head throughout whatever he faces. I liked that they gave him a goofy streak as well, which contrasted with his “perfect” image. For example how he tried to balance those blocks on his head while standing outside the classroom, completely focussed. These unexpected antics also made him a more interesting character than if he’d just been the token golden boy without any imperfections throughout the entire story. It was also realistic that he actually had a slightly strained relationship with his dad and fought with him about wanting to pursue architecture like his mom had. They were simple but realistic elements that showed that, behind his perfect image, he was dealing with stuff just like everyone else.
To me it felt like we first got to know You Nian through Miao Miao’s perspective as the impressive and admirable senior, and then we got to know his more flawed and awkward side through his own perspective after he officially started falling for her. That was an interesting and very well-paced shift. It felt very natural how he suddenly felt himself caught off guard by this girl when he’d never had any trouble focussing on his work or minding his own business. I mostly loved the scenes where he would just freeze and stare at Miao Miao when she suddenly came close, even when she wasn’t paying attention to it herself. In the beginning, it was just Miao Miao going 👀👀 when he got close to her, but then the tables turned completely. The scene where he modeled for her and she got completely absorbed in throwing cloths over him and taking his measurements and he was standing there like 😳😳 was the cutest thing. Seeing him lose his cool like that really added something to his character, and it made him even more likable.
Of course we can’t forget about the breakup, and I won’t redeem him for messing up, but in hindsight I did think it was good to show at least one bad characteristic from You Nian. I think that, while seeming so accomplished and collected in many different ways, he definitely lacked a certain maturity when it came to his relationship with Miao Miao. It could just be because of his lack of experience, of course, since this was also his first relationship. It was his first love as well as Miao Miao’s, which is kind of sweet if you think about it. But yeah, I thought the fact that he had to figure out how to patch things up with Miao Miao and show her that he really liked her as much as she liked him was very building for his character.
All in all, I liked that You Nian wasn’t a one-dimensional character who was just nice and polite all the time. He was also dealing with his own stuff, like the loss of his mother, the fact that his dad got remarried so soon and his beef with Kai Tuo. Although the breakup aggravated me, in hindsight I do think it was a good decision to show a less “perfect” side to him, because this only made his character more realistic.
In terms of consistency, I thought that, much like the establishment of Miao Miao’s love for fashion design, You Nian’s passion for architecture was also very well-supported. His mom passed away in a tragic accident due to a miscalculation in design at a construction site, and this has fueled You Nian to not only go against his father’s wishes to follow in his mother’s footsteps but also to become incredibly meticulous in his designs to prevent such accidents from happening again. Just like with Miao Miao’s case, I think they did a really good job gradually building You Nian’s skills and ambitions in becoming a great architect. It might seem trivial, but there are shows where the passion or occupation of the main character doesn’t actually contribute anything to the character and it feels like they just assigned them a random career (Big, About Time). I really appreciated that the writers created a solid foundation for both Miao Miao’s and You Nian’s chosen career paths and built that up throughout the story. I guess it just goes to show that simply giving the characters a simple but valid reason to pursue a certain dream contributes a lot to the quality of the story.

Speaking purely about the romance between Miao Miao and You Nian, it was absolutely adorable. I really loved their scenes together, they were so sweet. The tiniest gestures and glances were enough to bring a big smile to my face. The whole series literally had me going 🥰🥰 and their scenes were a major part of that. I think it’s very tricky to create a romantic tension between two young people that doesn’t exclusively come off as cringy, but it didn’t bother me at all in this show. I feel like the whole point of this story was to show the pureness and sweetness of first love, and they captured that perfectly. I also respect that they didn’t include kissing scenes because of the actors’ ages and to keep the emphasis on the pureness. Still, as a fan of good kissing scenes, especially in slowburns, I did feel robbed when they actually kissed at the amusement park and we couldn’t see it because a group of kids with balloons obstructed the view 💀. Like, then just stick to the pureness element and have them not kiss at all! Don’t tease us like this after 32 episodes of buildup and interruptions, that’s just mean! 🥹 But yeah, apart from that, I thought Miao Miao and You Nian were a freaking cute couple and it was really sweet how they managed to meet halfway after both liking each other for a long time.

If there was one dynamic that I adored the most out of all the bonds in this show, it was the friendship between Miao Miao, Xin Xin and Xia. These three girls were in it together, in every single way. I loved their interactions, how they both teased and supported each other and always had each other’s backs.
It might be weird, but one of my favorite parts was actually when Xin Xin witnessed Kai Tuo’s confession to Miao Miao. It just hit differently because it somehow amplified the friendship between the girls. Miao Miao was more affected by how hurt Xin Xin was because she knew how much she liked Kai Tuo, and I also loved the way Xin Xin told Miao Miao that she knew she wasn’t to blame, but that she just needed to get away from her for a while. Even after getting hurt like that she was reasonable enough to clarify to Miao Miao that she knew it wasn’t her fault and she wasn’t mad at her, but that she just needed some space to process what had happened. I also loved how Miao Miao and Xin Xin reconciled when everyone accused Xin Xin of writing that online article about Miao Miao “stealing her best friend’s crush away”. The look on Xin Xin’s face when Miao Miao was like “who the heck wrote this” was so touching. Honestly, their friendship made me tear up a couple of times.
I also loved how Xia, despite her initial depiction as the token chubby girl who liked to eat, contributed so much to their friendship. While her two besties were both struggling with their respective love interests, did she get bitter about being left out? Nah-ah, she actively helped BOTH of them. Xia was the best, honestly. She was literally the best wingman, especially for Miao Miao. I’m so glad they included her as a regular character and not just as Miao Miao’s video call friend from the beginning.
Honestly, Xia cracked me up so much. When they first got in the dorm and they were introduced to Tang Meng Fei who was like, “You look funny and chubby, can I call you Fatty Xia?” (seriously, what kind of opening line is that?!) and Xia just took a beat and went “Well, you look like a #^#@*#!!” I was like WAAAAAT 😂😂😂 That was hilarious. She had such a good radar for people, I loved how it became a running gag that she kept her eye on Meng Fei and helped Miao Miao beat her at the audition and stuff. Like, she never became petty or bitter when she wasn’t kept in the loop about something, she was always happy to get the tea whenever it was served to her and she was always genuinely happy for Miao Miao and Xin Xin when they managed to progress in their respective love stories. I felt genuinely bad for her when both Miao Miao and Xin Xin left campus for a while, leaving her alone. She always acted so tough and carefree but it was very clear how much her two friends meant to her. I really loved Xia, she was a great character.

Xin Xin might actually be one of my favorite characters in the show. There was just something really endearing about her. I was initially worried that she might become the kind of girl who’d always keep walking after the guy that would keep treating her coldly, following the trends from A Love So Beautiful and With You. Luckily, she remained really strong and kept telling her she deserved better, even though she was never going to let go of her feelings for Kai Tuo. Yes, she occasionally got a bit childish in trying to get his attention, like with the faking an injured leg and stuff like that, but she was mature enough to acknowledge her own actions as well. It was so satisfying when she turned the tables at the end by treating Kai Tuo coldly, which in turn made him realize how much he’d taken her for granted. I was consistently rooting for Xin Xin and I genuinely felt bad for her whenever Kai Tuo made it clear he was interested in Miao Miao. Then again, as I mentioned before she never became grudgy and she never blamed Miao Miao and I really liked that even in that scenario the focus remained on the girls’ friendship, no matter how deeply rooted Xin Xin’s feelings for Kai Tuo were.
Despite occasionally acting like a spoiled little girl, I think Xin Xin was actually really wise and dealt with her feelings very maturely. It was nice to see her warm up to Miao Miao in high school after acknowledging what a genuine and kind person she was, and I loved how far she was willing to go to help and surprise her friends. No matter how mean Kai Tuo was to her, she remained true to her feelings for him and kept showing him, for example through organizing that birthday party. She just wanted to do things for him because it came natural to her, and she stuck with that. Whenever she was down after he said something mean to her, she would just have a good cry and then pick herself up and keep going, telling herself that she was stronger than that. I think that Xin Xin, as someone who had unapologetically accepted herself the way she was, was a great match for Miao Miao who still had ways to go to bloom as a person. It was really nice to see how Xin Xin helped her gain more confidence and come out of her shell. Their friendship was so wholesome, and as I said it occasionally even moved me to tears.
In addition, I also liked that Xin Xin was the only one of the group who chose an entirely different career path by joining the Journalism department. As with everyone, it was nice to see her focus on her own goals and gradually become more ambitious about journalism, to the extent that she actually went away on excursions for new coverage inspiration. I feel like she would’ve been much more hesitant to go in the beginning because it meant being away from Kai Tuo and her friends, so seeing her voluntarily apply for that internship at the end really proved that she also became serious about what she wanted to do and report on. It was very inspiring to see her mature like that, it suited her to focus on herself and her own dreams, and I guess that’s also what made Kai Tuo finally look at her in the end.

Honestly, I feel like I got bamboozled by the opening credits sequence when it showed Kai Tuo kissing Xin Xin on the cheek right at the beginning, because this caused me to believe that the story would focus on a couple of different love stories simultaneously, like in Put Your Head on My Shoulder. I did not expect that Kai Tuo would actually be the second male lead and part of the main love triangle for the majority of the show. I guess it was quite predictable that there would be a love triangle, but since that opening sequence ignited the expectation in me that he and Xin Xin were endgame, it hit differently when he first developed feelings for Miao Miao. Although he never actually stood a chance with Miao Miao and he and Xin Xin did end up together, I did find it a pity that it took him so long to finally realize Xin Xin was the one for him. The cheek kiss in question only happens in the second-to-last episode, so yeah, color me bamboozled.

While watching the show I consistently called Kai Tuo “the angry kitten”, because honestly, that’s what he was. He acted all tough and lashed out at others while he really just couldn’t deal with the fact that his dad had left him, and his mom had remarried instead of waiting for him to come back. I liked that they found a way to add the story of his dad in there, and how he ultimately found out with Xin Xin’s help that his father had actually disappeared for a very good reason and his mom had only ever protected him from his bad influence as a gambling addict. As with all the detailed backstories in this show, I thought it was a good decision to use the screentime they had by fleshing out Kai Tuo’s character and show where his aggressive tendencies came from, and how finding out the truth helped him become a more mature person as well. I liked that, as soon as he came to terms with himself and set things right with everyone, his good sides just came out naturally. The fact that he was prepared to gather the money for his father’s debts and the fact that he went all the way to collect Xin Xin’s wrongly delivered package all by himself proved that, in the right mindset and environment, he was a really good guy and a loyal friend who would literally go the extra mile to help out the people he cared about.

I think the dynamic between You Nian and Kai Tuo was an interesting one as well, especially if you look at the difference between when they were friends and when they became stepbrothers. If I remember correctly, they used to be in the same class but Kai Tuo was held back because he started misbehaving and neglecting his studies after their parents remarried, and so he ended up in Miao Miao’s and Xin Xin’s class, who were a year younger. I’m not sure how much he and You Nian actually differed in age, but he was indicated as the dìdì (younger brother), so I guess he must’ve been at least a couple of months younger than You Nian.
In any case, while Kai Tuo is actually very smart and able to get good grades when he sets his mind to it, he gets distracted by feelings of anger and jealousy much more easily than You Nian. You Nian is generally very chill, while Kai Tuo has a short fuse and can get set off by the slightest annoyance. The difference between their personalities also comes out very clearly when you look at how they each treat Miao Miao. Even when he didn’t feel anything for her yet, You Nian always treated her nicely, and later even admits to Kai Tuo that he always thought of her as “lovely and kind”, even back in high school. Just like Miao Miao herself, it’s very clear when You Nian likes or dislikes someone. Kai Tuo, on the other hand, is a natural tsundere who acts mean even to the people he secretly cares about. He’s the type of guy who, when he’s interested in a girl, bullies her rather than show his affection, because that would just be “lame and embarrassing”.
One instance where the difference in their feelings for Miao Miao came out the clearest in my opinion was when Miao Miao decided to switch departments. Despite finding it a pity to see her leave, You Nian encourages her to switch because even he can see clearly that her motivation for architecture is lacking. Kai Tuo, on the other hand, can’t accept it and tries to persuade her to stay. In other words, he’s much more selfish in his feelings than You Nian, who recognizes what would make Miao Miao the happiest and “lets her go”, so to say.
In any case, I though the friendly/brotherly bond between You Nian and Kai Tuo was interesting and it also created an interesting family dynamic with their remarried parents. I thought it was really sweet how Kai Tuo’s mom always endearingly called him “Xiao Tuo”, like “little Tuo”. His mom was so sweet, honestly. It couldn’t have been easy for her either, sending her husband away for badly influencing their child and then being blamed by her child for “betraying” his father by marrying someone else. The difference in vibe between Kai Tuo and his mom was really touching, she was just this sweet little lady trying to accommodate him as much as possible, and she would get teary-eyed when he suddenly said something nice or helped her out. It was comforting to know that he at least had a soft spot for his mom.

The third love story depicted in the show, although covered to a lesser extent, is the one between You Nian’s friends Wang Yi Chao (played by Wang Bo Wen) and Fang Xiao Yue (played by Zhu Jin Tong). Wang Yi Chao, occasionally nicknamed Da Chao, has been You Nian’s friend since high school and the break with Kai Tuo also affected him as the three of them used to be best buds and were on the same basketball team together. In college, Da Chao joins the fashion design department, but he often comes to hang out at You Nian’s dorm or the modeling room of the architecture students. Da Chao is quite the comical character who always strives the lighten the mood and make everyone laugh. While his personality stood in contrast with You Nian’s seriousness, it was fun to see how well the two of them got along. If I had to describe their dynamic it would be that You Nian was the kind of person who would think of a joke and laugh about it on the inside, while Da Chao would put the joke into action and laugh about it in public. Their friendship dynamic was really funny.
Da Chao’s frequent visits to You Nian’s department weren’t just to annoy his friend, but also to catch a glimpse of the Architecture department’s beauty, You Nian’s classmate Fang Xiao Yue. Xiao Yue is one of the top students, just like You Nian, and initially has a crush on him as well. Despite being a year higher, she ends up sharing a dorm with Miao Miao, Xia and Meng Fei because there aren’t any more dorms left, and there are a couple of moments where she and Miao Miao acknowledge each other as love rivals.
Still, I really liked Xiao Yue because unlike any typical love rival character, she remained incredibly mature and kind throughout the series. While she kept pursuing You Nian in her own way, she never went out of her way to humiliate Miao Miao or make her feel bad. On the contrary, when she discovered You Nian’s pictures of Miao Miao on his camera she actually showed them to her instead of hiding it. I even feel like she would’ve returned the Doraemon bouquet to Miao Miao if she had known it was meant for her, she played it fair. Even when she realized that You Nian didn’t reciprocate her feelings, she didn’t become malicious towards Miao Miao, she just went on with her life and that eventually led her to notice what a good guy Da Chao actually was.
I thought it was really cute that Da Chao and Xiao Yue ended up together because it also acknowledged Da Chao as so much more than just the comical sidekick who could never get as popular as You Nian. He really deserved being seen and loved, especially after expressing his feelings to Xiao Yue as sincerely as he did. I thought it was nice that, even though she was definitely annoyed with him at times, Xiao Yue couldn’t help but laugh at his jokes and she gradually came to appreciate him for being such a sweet and loyal guy. It was nice having another, less on-the-foreground couple like this, they made a really cute pair.

I previously said that I came to care for each and every character, but I have to admit there was one person that I never fully came to like, and that was Tang Meng Fei (played by Li Xi Meng). I’ve mentioned her name a couple of times already, but this girl was really something else. I don’t even really know what her problem with Miao Miao was – I guess she was jealous that Miao Miao overtook her position as top student in Fashion Design? – but she did some really nasty things to sabotage her. And it wasn’t that she was trying to one-up her in terms of their studies either, she actually tried to mess things up for Miao Miao in her love life and friendships, she made it PERSONAL. Why would you go out of your way to put a bouquet someone got from their crush on someone else’s table? Why would you go out of your way to post an online article about a delicate situation that doesn’t even have anything to do with you, just to create drama between two best friends? This girl took “too much free time on her hands” to a whole new level. Every time something was going down and she was shown eavesdropping in the background I was like, “GET AWAY, TANG MENG FEI”. She really poked her nose into everything that could hurt Miao Miao in the dirtiest ways, it was so pathetic. Props to Miao Miao for being the bigger person and forgiving her at the end, I don’t know if I would’ve been able to do that. I mean, she didn’t actually apologize or even admit to what she did and why. She just kept going and every time I thought she would’ve matured or learned her lesson she’d be eavesdropping somewhere again and I’d be like, god what is this girl’s problem?! They may have forgiven her at the end, but there was never any kind of reasoning or explanation for why she did what she did, so in my eyes she wasn’t really redeemed.

The next characters I want to discuss in this section are the two main teacher characters, You Nian’s Architecture teacher Li Si Chen (played by Hu Wei) and Miao Miao’s eccentric fashion designer teacher Jia Yin (played by Lu Yi/Coco Lu). First of all I just want to say I found it funny that these two people just became the singular teachers of their respective departments. There were never any other teachers depicted in either the Architecture or the Fashion Design department, despite the fact that Ms. Jia was introduced as a teaching assistant. In any case, the rivalrous dynamic between these two was hilarious.
While they didn’t get fleshed out with backstories as much as the main characters did, they still contributed a lot in terms of You Nian’s and Miao Miao’s studies, respectively. I remember You Nian’s dad and Mr. Li knew each other personally and You Nian’s dad specifically asked him to be very strict with You Nian in class, but there wasn’t much to be strict about since You Nian was such a natural at drawing and designing. Even to lesser skilled students like Miao Miao, Mr. Li was always a very friendly and helpful teacher, and strict when necessary. I thought his way of teaching and guiding his students was very nice. He also picked up on Miao Miao secretly reading fashion design books during class before she even officially decided she wanted to change departments, and he didn’t give her a hard time for changing course, either. After that he also quickly picked up on changes in You Nian’s and Kai Tuo’s behavior when they suddenly started slipping in their focus and he always tried to support them wherever he could. I thought he was a really good teacher and a nice supporting character.
We are introduced to Ms. Jia when she falls in love at first sight with Mr. Li’s nephew, Lu Peng (Xu Hai Qiao), a teacher at Miao Miao’s and You Nian’s high school, when he takes his class on an excursion to Haicheng University to check out the campus. As a result, Ms. Jia decides to stick around at Haicheng and starts pursuing Lu Peng actively, much to his own uncomfortableness. Lu Peng doesn’t even appear that much in the story, he’s more often spoken of than depicted, but while Ms. Jia keeps nagging Mr. Li about him and why he keeps denying her invitations, at some point Mr. Li himself also takes an interest in Ms. Jia. I was personally a bit weirded out by this, because Mr. Li was the uncle of Ms. Jia’s crush and therefore also old enough to be her uncle (I saw on MDL that the actors differ six years in real life, which isn’t too bad, actually). In any case, Mr. Li and Ms. Jia inevitably keep crossing paths and while they start out as rivals, they do become friendlier with each other along the way.
Honestly, as much as I loved the various love stories that ran throughout the show, I didn’t actually mind that this one didn’t play out successfully. Besides my personal uncomfortableness with them as a couple, I was glad that the writers didn’t push them together just for the sake of creating another couple, and their story actually ends with Ms. Jia rejecting Mr. Li’s confession. In a way this also created a more realistic vibe that not all well-matched people were meant to get romantically involved with each other. I thought the dynamic between Mr. Li and Ms. Jia was nice and funny enough as it was, as two rivaling teachers that actually respected each other but were both just too stubborn to admit their own flaws.
In all honestly, Ms. Jia might actually be my favorite character of the entire show. I loved everything about her, and I’m definitely going to praise the actress in my cast comments as well. She was such a wonderful breath of fresh air that lit up every scene that she appeared in. She always made me laugh and she was always so effortlessly funny without overdoing it. At the same time, she was the best teacher Miao Miao could’ve wished for, she recognized her talent immediately and persuaded her to come over to Fashion Design. She didn’t doubt her skills for a second and that was just the kind of encouragement that Miao Miao needed to become confident in her decision to officially pursue fashion design. Ms. Jia was the best, I loved her.

Lastly, I just want to devote a final paragraph to the members of Miao Miao’s family, because they were also very important to her character development. I loved that, while they only appeared a couple of times when Miao Miao came back home on college breaks, there was never any change in the vibe of their household. The only difference was that sometimes Miao Miao’s dad came back for a while and then left again. I thought it was a really nice aspect of the show that, throughout Miao Miao’s transformational journey, there was always this one place that she could keep coming home to without it ever changing. It really felt like, every time Miao Miao came back home, she looked different, but her family and home remained the same. That was a really nice consistency throughout, and it also showed that Miao Miao kept a close connection to where she came from and how she started out.
We didn’t get to see Miao Miao’s dad a lot, but he definitely seemed to be the softer one compared to her mom. Even though it was thanks to him that they had to keep moving around and he knew it wasn’t ideal for his family, he really did his best to make the most out of it and whenever he came home he always loved spending time with his kids. Despite the adult tensions between him and his wife in terms of the practicalities of their living situation, it was nice to see that he at least was a good dad to his daughters, and I liked how, as Miao Miao grew up, she was able to have such good conversations with him as well.
I really liked Miao Miao’s mom, she was hilarious. She was definitely the tough love kind of mom, and she could get a bit uptight when it came to Miao Miao doing things without her permission, but I really feel like that was because she had a hard time accepting that her daughter was growing up and that she just wasn’t ready for Miao Miao to start making her own decisions yet. In the end, she had to face the fact that Miao Miao was a natural fashion designer, good enough to qualify for an international exchange even, and that made her really proud. There was just something about Miao Miao’s mom that made me really like her.
I also really liked Miao Miao’s relationship with her younger sister. Yao Yao was the typical little sister that nagged her sister about everything but actually loved her to bits. When Miao Miao left for college and later for the UK, she actually cried and clung to her pleading her not to leave, which was really endearing. Even though they were apart for the majority of the show, whenever Miao Miao came back home Yao Yao was always immediately back on her case, asking her for more doll clothes and wanting to keep her to herself. I thought it was really nice that Miao Miao always had this warm household to go back to.

Now that I’ve discussed all the characters and relationships that I wanted to address, I want to make mention of a couple more aspects that I liked and want to elaborate on a little bit.
First of all, I really love how this show made use of several key locations that kept coming back and became important throughout the story. As mentioned above, it was nice that Miao Miao occasionally returned to her family home, which always remained the same. Besides this, I also really liked the recurring appearance of the lighthouse, which became her and You Nian’s “special place” back home. It’s so nice to have special places where you end up making special memories and that you somehow keep returning to, even out of pure nostalgia. I thought the lighthouse was a really nice choice for a special place like that. While it started out as the place where You Nian would tutor Miao Miao on her maths in high school, it was also the place where they lit fireworks together on New Year’s Eve, and ultimately the place where You Nian confessed his love to her and where they reconciled after Miao Miao came back from the UK. I thought it was really nice how they kept referring back to it, how it came back on the coconut that You Nian painted for her, and how it became such a sentimental place for the both of them. Using a kind of familiar place to come back to throughout the story also contributed to the consistency of it, and it even made me feel comfortable whenever they returned to it.
Another such place was the architecture modeling room. I feel like the classrooms for architecture and fashion design were furnished in a similar way (maybe it was the same set), but the one for architecture just looked really cozy to me. Through their set design they managed to create such a fun and practical student work space, it made even me want to go there. It actually made me nostalgic for campus life and the places I would hang out at. I thought this show did a really good job at creating these kinds of places that looked so fun and special to be at, and gave them additional value by making them the backdrop of several important scenes.

Before I go on to my more critical points of the show, I want to come back to a topic that I already mentioned in the beginning: consistency. I just want to give a couple of examples that confirmed the attention to detail for me. I know it’s not always good to compare shows too much, but I just want to make a point of how simple it can be to at least make sure a scene flows continuously from one shot to the next – after Road to Rebirth my expectations became so low that I was actually surprised to see the continuancy in the shots in this show.
There was one scene when the Architecture group went on an excursion and Ms. Jia (who tagged along) was talking to Miao Miao outside the bus about changing to Fashion Design. At some point during this conversation, one classmate is seen overhearing them before walking away. A couple of scenes later, we see this flashback from You Nian’s perspective inside the bus where he overhears their conversation too, and the classmate is again seen listening in and walking away at the exact same moment. During another part of this excursion, when they’re gathered around the work banks, someone is seen passing something around through the crowd while Mr. Li is talking, and in the next shot from another angle, we see the same person pass this around. Call me crazy but honestly, these kind of consistent moments fill me with satisfaction and I really wanted to make a note of it because it’s apparently not something to be taken for granted. The fact that they paid attention to even small consistency details like this that probably many people won’t even notice, only confirmed for me that these people knew what they were doing and it all contributed to the good quality of the show.

By the way, I think this is the first Chinese drama I’ve watched so far of which the original title translates literally to the English title. Usually the English titles are completely different from the original titles and I always wonder how they came to them, but in this case, the original Chinese title literally translates to “a little thing called first love”, so that’s easy! I think it’s a sweet title for a sweet show, and I think it really highlights the pure vibe of the story and the message of how the power of an innocent first love can have such a big impact on someone.

Now that I look at the poster, it’s actually kind of funny how Xiao Yue is on there in the same high school uniform as everyone else even though she was the only character who wasn’t at the same high school as them. She only became acquainted with You Nian and Da Chao in college, so she’s actually the odd one out on the poster. Anyways, let’s not make a fuss about that.

I think I’ve already mentioned enough how much I enjoyed this series and I’ve only mostly mentioned things I liked about it. Admittedly, there was very little to dislike in terms of the story and the characters. Still, I want to discuss something that came as a bit of a disappointment, although I still wouldn’t exactly say it ruined the show for me. My main criticism lies with the ending of the series, and with that I mean the last couple of episodes. Although I do think the 36 episodes were all used very efficiently to flesh out the characters and build up the story, I still couldn’t help but feel like they rushed things a bit towards the end.
I’m not entirely sure if this had to do with the fact that I took breaks in-between the final couple of episodes and that’s why it felt like things suddenly happened out of nowhere, but suddenly it was as if they made a couple of time jumps that felt quite rushed. It all started with the final dilemma of You Nian bailing on his international exchange last minute without telling Miao Miao.
In short: You Nian got the chance to study abroad in Edinburgh and this encouraged Miao Miao to also apply for the international exchange to Birmingham that her department was offering. While they were planning to go to the UK together, You Nian suddenly got a different opportunity from a company that wanted to restart his mother’s final unfinished project and he decided that’s what he wanted to do more, but he somehow couldn’t find a way to tell Miao Miao and ended up breaking her heart on the day of their planned departure.
I remember that this weirded me out a lot. It was like I was watching him building up to telling her one moment – he even got so close that he brought up the hypothesis of him not being able to go with her – and then the next moment it was suddenly the day of departure (which I thought was still some time away) and I was like, wait what, we’re already here and he still didn’t tell her?! What’s going on?! It also felt like a really out-of-character thing for You Nian to be so wishy-washy about it to Miao Miao. It wasn’t as if he kept it a secret, he’d already told Kai Tuo and his dad about it. And while I get that he was hesitating because he thought Miao Miao might give up on going abroad as well, the way he dealt with this situation was really not it. Like, seriously, he was planning on telling her after she got on the plane?! That was his great plan?! It gave me major Love Under the Moon vibes, where almost exactly the same thing happened and the FL actually went with the ML to the airport only to be like, “oh yeah btw, I’m not coming with you”. This breakup happened so suddenly and it felt so weird for You Nian to become dumbstruck even after realizing that Miao Miao was jumping to wrong conclusions (that he didn’t actually like her as much as she liked him). He couldn’t even bring himself to say, “No, you got it wrong, that’s not the reason”, he literally just stood there and that really threw me off.
As I said before, in hindsight I get why he had a hard time finding the right time and words to tell her because it also included feelings about what his mom went through. But after everything had gone so smoothly between them, the fact that it immediately led to such an emotional breakup came very much out of the blue for me. And then the next thing, suddenly a year passed and Miao Miao got back and things with You Nian were awkward. I had a hard time keeping up with that sudden acceleration of events. It was good that You Nian eventually finally got to explain what had happened, but no matter how I think about it, I just know that Miao Miao would have supported his reason for staying. It was the most reasonable and valid reason and she probably would’ve gone abroad without him having to persuade her to do so. I really liked how Miao Miao responded to his explanation, because it was literally what went through my head as well: “You should have told me and let me make my own decisions instead of habitually thinking for me and making a decision that you thought was good for me.”
It just bugged me that this had to happen over such a stupid miscommunication, although I do understand that they needed at least one trial through which You Nian would also realize how capable and mature Miao Miao was on her own. It just sucked that it suddenly happened in such a rushed way in the last couple of episodes.
Another thing from the ending that bugged me a little was the final reconciliation between Xin Xin and Kai Tuo. After the time jump, I actually remember thinking, “they better not have casually skipped over them getting together during this year like ‘oh yeah we’re together now'”, cause that would be plain unfair. Luckily, that didn’t happen, but I’m honestly not entirely sure how I feel about their final confession. As I said I’d initially expected things between them to develop much faster and I hadn’t counted on Kai Tuo taking so long to switch from Miao Miao to Xin Xin. In the end I feel like they could’ve started building up Kai Tuo’s feelings for Xin Xin from much earlier on in order to bring them together at a more natural pace. Now I couldn’t help but feel like they rushed their official confession in the last couple of episodes. Kai Tuo’s first confession just hit differently after how he’d confessed to Miao Miao, and I couldn’t blame Xin Xin for feeling more disappointed by it than glad to finally hear the words. After that it just felt like he had to keep proving to her that he was sincere, so the confessions kind of lost meaning, in a way. It eventually ended with Xin Xin overhearing him reject another girl saying he already liked someone else and then suddenly she was ready to accept him. To put it bluntly, we never really got to see Kai Tuo yearn for Xin Xin as he did for Miao Miao, and that actually bothers me. I feel like that could’ve been solved if Kai Tuo’s feelings had changed just a little bit earlier.
Finally, while it was nice that You Nian got to show Miao Miao his finished project, ending it there felt a bit abrupt as well. I actually expected a little more progress in their relationship. I was actually expecting him to propose to her when he brought her to the mystery place with her eyes closed, lol. Anyways, it was a sweet enough ending but I still felt like they could’ve added a final touch to it. After they did such a good job filling the main body of the series with such well-balanced storytelling, I guess I expected a little more from the ending, especially with regards to Xin Xin and Kai Tuo’s love story.

I think I’ve now covered everything that I wanted to say about this show! It took me a while again, but it’s okay because it’s the end of the year and I got no other plans so I can take as long as I want.
I’m just going to go through my cast comments now. As usual with Chinese dramas, I barely knew any of the actors, but I was very impressed by everyone so I want to give them all a big shoutout for contributing to the wonderful watching experience of this series. Seriously, from the main and supporting characters to the family members and the extras in the dorms, everyone delivered. I’m not even sure if they did dubbing for this one, because if they did I didn’t even notice it, that’s how natural everyone was in their acting.

I found out through MDL that Zhao Jin Mai was only seventeen (!) at the time this show aired, so I can understand why they chose to hold back on more intimate scenes. Usually the actors are actually older and made younger, but I guess it was the other way around in this case. I thought it was really cool how she transformed through the story and how she gradually started to look and act more like an adult. I never saw the actress in anything else before, but I think she did a really good job in the role of Miao Miao. She retained the pure youthfulness of a girl in love while she matured into an individually successful young woman and it was really cool to see how she portrayed that development so naturally. I also really liked her chemistry with all her co-stars, from her friends to her younger sister, it looked like they all genuinely got along and that contributed a lot to the whole vibe of the series. I noticed that there’s another series with her on my to watch list, so I’m curious to see a different side of her acting after this. I’m glad I got to know her through this show, I’m definitely going to keep an eye out for her!

I actually knew Lai Guan Lin from Produce 101 Season 2, but I never knew he also acted! Seems like he started appearing in Chinese dramas after Wanna One disbanded. He was also just eighteen (!) when this show aired, which I honestly didn’t expect. To be perfectly honest, while I did like his overall performance, there were a couple of moments where I did find him a little stiff. In certain scenes where You Nian experienced deeper emotions, his face tended to go blank, making it occasionally difficult to gauge what kind of emotion he was trying to portray. Other than that, I thought he made a very endearing casting choice for the role of You Nian, and I thought his chemistry with the female lead was really sweet. I’m kind of curious to other dramas he’s done to see what else he has brought to the table.
Edit: As I was going through Lai Guan Lin’s MDL page I came across some controversial stuff about him which may also have impacted this particular show and his co-star, creating another possible reason for the lack of kissing scenes. I just want to clarify that I watched the show and wrote this review without any of this knowledge. Since this is a happy place with good vibes only, I don’t want that kind of stuff to cloud over the wonderful experience I had while watching this series. I just hope that Guan Lin can find some well-deserved peace and quiet, and I hope he knows he contributed to an incredibly lovely story that made a lot of people, including me, feel very happy. I wish him all the best in his future career, whatever he decides to pursue.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that, while the other main actors for this show were all around 17/18 when this show aired, Wang Run Ze was actually 26! This guy is only one year younger than me! He blended in so well with the others, I never would’ve guessed he was almost ten (!) years older than Lai Guan Lin who had to play his “older” brother. Anyways, I think Wang Run Ze was a really good casting choice for Lin Kai Tuo. He really embraced that “angry kitten” energy to the max, haha. I was glad they made him more than just a one-dimensional tsundere as well, they gave him an emotional backstory and crying scenes and some pretty wholesome character development. He has quite a characteristic face which I thought I’d never seen before, but then I found out he actually had a small role in Meteor Garden. I don’t exactly remember his character from there, but after this show there’s no way I won’t recognize him again. His portrayal of Kai Tuo was really impactful, I think he did a great job. I saw that he’s done a lot of dramas, so maybe I’ll come across him again!

The main reason why Xin Xin was one of my favorite characters in this show was because Chai Wei did such a good job portraying her. I really loved how she brought Xin Xin to life and how she revealed the multiple layers to the character through her performance. As I mentioned in my review, I found her really endearing and I just found myself rooting for her. Xin Xin was such a kind person, really, her heart was truly in the right place and she responded to everything so realistically. She was also just 17 (!) when this aired, so I can imagine it must’ve been quite something to act out a romance with someone almost ten years her senior, even though that age difference wasn’t noticeable on screen at all. The energy and fun she brought to the character and her chemistry with her on-screen friends contributed greatly to how much I ended up liking her, she did a really great job. I hope I get to see her in more shows, cause it seems like she’s still going strong in terms of drama acting roles!

Wang Yi Miao was apparently 24 when this aired, so a bit older than her two on-screen besties. Still, again, the age difference was not visible and she blended in really naturally. As I mentioned before, I really liked Xia, and the actress did a really nice job of making her such a loveable character. The only thing that bugged me every now and then was the focus on her weight, which became like a running gag. I know that China is a very body-conscious society and unfortunately a lot of actors with bigger body types still stereotypically get cast as “the fat friend who likes to eat”, but I really hope this can change. Even without her habit of eating all the time, Xia was such an important and relevant character in the story, and I really hope the actress knows she’s worth way much more than just being cast as “the chubby friend”. I genuinely liked her performance and the energy she brought to Xia. I see that there’s another show with her on my to watch list, so I’m already looking forward to seeing more of her!

Wang Bo Wen was 25 when this show aired, so he was up there with Wang Run Ze as one of the “older” cast members in the on-screen friend group. I liked the natural comical energy he brought to the show. I’ve made this point several times before, but he was one of those people that just exuded a funniness without going overboard with it or trying too hard to be funny. I really liked how he remained a part of the main story through being You Nian’s good friend while simultaneously traveling his own path. I thought it was really sweet that he got his own love story with Xiao Yue, even though his kind of character would’ve normally remained single because he was never “handsome” enough. It was a nice touch that they kept him in as such a consistent regular character, I really liked what he brought to the table through his performance of Da Chao.

Apparently, A Little Thing Called First Love was Zhu Jin Tong’s debut drama! I would’ve never guessed with how natural she was! She was 21 when this aired and she’s been getting roles consistently ever since, good for her! I really liked her portrayal of Xiao Yue. As I mentioned in my review, I was glad that they made her a love rival that wasn’t petty for a change, she played it fair and easily yielded as soon as she realized You Nian had feelings for Miao Miao. The actress brought a really genuine and kind energy to her character, not to mention that beautiful dimple smile! Honestly, with how natural she seemed, I didn’t think for a second that this could be her first drama acting role. I hope I get to see her in more things!

I already said it, but if there’s one cast member I would like to give a shoutout, it’s Coco Lu/Lu Yi who played Ms. Jia. The naturalness with which she lit up every scene she appeared in? The effortless comical timing? She nailed every aspect of her character so well that at some point I forget she was only introduced like halfway through the story. Ms. Jia became such an integral part of the story that I can’t even imagine her not being in it. I really, really enjoyed her performance, she was so natural and funny and simultaneously still managed to be a serious and good teacher. I loved what she brought to the table, and I love the casting directors for casting her, she was the best supporting character ever.

Just like with Zhu Ji Tong, this show was also the drama acting debut of Li Xi Meng, who played Tang Meng Fei. It seems like she’s still starting out, but she has been getting consistent roles ever since her debut, so it looks like she’s making her way up! I’ve already discussed my feelings about her character, and I wish they could’ve given her at least some backstory or an explanation for why she was the way she was. I think the actress would’ve been perfectly able to portray some more complex layers in Meng Fei’s personality. I guess that there just needed to be a bitchy character, and when I say that I would’ve liked to see a bit more from her acting this is mostly linked to the fact that I wished the writers had given her a bit more to work with besides just being a nasty brat. Besides that, there was nothing wrong with her acting, and I did like how they all kind of came to terms with her tsundere personality in the end. I wish the actress a lot of success in her future endeavors and maybe I’ll get to see her in a completely different role sometime.

I just wanted to mention Wang Yi Chan who played Miao Miao’s mom because for some reason she made a big impression on me. Maybe it’s because of her stunning face and the way she could stare a hole into anything if she kept that gaze fixed on something, but even with the old school clothes and apron and the quirky curly hair, I just really liked her as the casting choice for Miao Miao’s mom.
The same went for Zhang Zi Yu, who played little Yao Yao. She was only 11 when this show aired, but she was such a natural young actress. I’m not even surprised that this show wasn’t her first and she’s been acting in dramas since she was 8. The consistent natural acting of this little girl will definitely linger in my memory for a long time, I was really impressed by her.

I probably don’t need to say it again, but I’ll still do it: I really, really enjoyed this show. It was cute, it was romantic, it was heartfelt and just the right balance of sweet and serious. The entire cast gave a stellar performance, better than I’ve seen in a Chinese drama in a while, and every single character contributed to a lovely watching experience. I’m not typically one for rewatching stuff but I genuinely understood the people in the YouTube comments who mentioned they kept coming back to this show, because it’s just the kind of fluffy comfort romance show that you could watch again and again. I’m glad I got the chance to watch it now and end the year with a feelgood show and a positive review. I would definitely recommend it if someone was inquiring about a cute romantic comedy, it’s absolutely lovely and I’ll keep saying how positively surprised I was by the good overall quality of the series as well, not just in terms of acting and storywriting. Yes, the ending left some things to be desired, but it didn’t ruin my experience that much – my main impression of it is still predominantly positive.

With that, I’d like to conclude my final review of 2024. Thanks to anyone who bothers to read these and takes the time to post a supportive comment, it’s always greatly appreciated to read that others share my thoughts and feelings and enjoy reading my extensive rants.
I’ve been able to watch 17 dramas this year, which is a lot less than previous years but it’s been quite a busy year with me finishing my MA and my first solo book translation. I will go on with my watchlist using the Wheel of Fortune app, because I like the variety of the shows it’s picked out for me this year and it allows me to get to shows that would’ve otherwise gotten me a very long time to get to.

For now I wish everyone very merry holidays and a happy New Year, and I will be back in 2025.

Until then!

Bye-bee xx

Shards of Her

Standard

Disclaimer: this is a review, and as such it contains spoilers of the whole series. Please proceed to read at your own risk if you still plan on watching this show or if you haven’t finished it yet. You have been warned.

Shards of Her
(她和她的她 / Ta He Ta De Ta)
MyDramaList rating: 7.5/10

I didn’t actually expect I’d be able to finish my next show one week after the last one, but here we are. I made the submission deadline for my translation and won’t get my final feedback until two weeks later, so I found some more time to watch shows in the meantime. I’m not gonna lie, I yelped in excitement when my Wheel of Fortune app revealed my next watch because I’d been really looking forward to this one. I also liked that I got to watch another Taiwanese drama before the year was done, and that I could watch it in good quality with decent subtitles on Netflix. I’d seen either a trailer or read a summary (I don’t remember) but I was positive that this show was going to be something else. Having said that, I should put a major trigger warning here because this show (and consequently this review) deals with depictions/mentions of rape, sexual assault and harassment, victim-blaming and mental illness.

One more disclaimer: I’ve written all the names in this review according to the standard Mandarin pinyin romanization, although the subtitles that I watched and most of the credit sources I could find used the Wade-Giles writing system (eg. “Hsi instead of “Xi / “Hsieh instead of “Xie). I just hope I’m not offending the correct spelling of the names, it’s just that I’m personally more familiar with the pinyin writing of Chinese names. I also credited all the actors with their Chinese names rather than their international names in my review since that’s how they are credited in the show.

Shards of Her is a Taiwanese Netflix drama series with nine episodes of about fifty minutes each. It’s about Lin Chen Xi (played by Xu Wei Ning), a top employee at a headhunting company who also goes by her international name “Seher” (which is Turkish for “dawn”). Chen Xi is an einselganger, she prefers to work alone and steer clear of parties and engagements that force her to socialize with other people. She has a very loving boyfriend of three years, Li Hao Ming (played by Li Cheng Bin), but she’s been quite distant with him for a while and contemplates breaking up with him. It’s hinted from the start that Chen Xi is dealing with the repercussions of a youth trauma, and we see that she’s isolating herself from the people around her, even from her mother, whom she hasn’t contacted in years even after both her father and her brother passed away. Chen Xi’s unstable state is tested even more when her company is reinforced with a new guy who just came back from the US and who immediately starts behaving inappropriately familiar with her. This guy, Tu Chun Ju or “Danny” (played by Wu Kang Ren) even starts openly harrassing her on the workfloor, but always makes it seem like she came onto him when others pass by. When Chen Xi starts ignoring him, he gets mad and takes revenge: he lures her to the company at night, knocks her out, ties her up and attempts to violate her while filming it. Chen Xi manages to escape, but as she’s trying to get away in her car in the pouring rain, desperately trying to reach Hao Ming, she gets hit by a truck. When she wakes up, she suddenly finds herself back in her family home in her hometown. Her whole family is still alive, she’s still in touch with her best friends from high school, and Hao Ming doesn’t exist – that is, he’s now a shabby-looking police officer by the name of Liu Chang Yu (nicknamed Xiao Liu) and they’ve never met before. She’s told that she’s been in a car accident and that she has amnesia, and that Hao Ming and her headhunting company are just hallucinations caused by the accident. While navigating through this familiar yet strange environment, Chen Xi slowly recovers her memories and is forced to come face to face with the excruciating trauma of being raped by her maths teacher back in high school.

The link to Chen Xi’s previous encounter with sexual assault is already suggested from the first episode onwards. The way she flinches when a man (even Hao Ming) even so much as touches her on the back or shoulder, and the vague memory fragments that shoot by during Danny’s attack speak volumes. However, it’s not until she goes into that alternate reality (if that’s what it was) that she’s able to slowly recall what exactly went down in her youth. The alternate reality seems like a pleasant solution at first, since Chen Xi still has her family and friends and she has a nice job at a study center for children. However, the more she remembers and tries to uncover, the more she realizes that everyone around her is actually grateful for the fact that she doesn’t remember anything and tries to hide the truth from her. It’s mostly meant to protect her because she’s been miserable ever since it happened and forgetting about it might actually bring some lightness back into her life. But of course it won’t do to just bury an event like that and pretend like it didn’t happen just to keep the peace in the community.

I honestly think this show did an amazing job at portraying the rawness of dealing with trauma, and how one appalling deed can damage a person for life. As if the rape itself wasn’t enough, it got even worse when, after Chen Xi finally managed to speak up about it, the adults around her did NOTHING. On the contrary, they actually turned on her and blamed her for being the seducer. Even her own father didn’t believe her at first, and even after considering that she told the truth he just yelled at her for not resisting. In the direct aftermath of the rape, Chen Xi wasn’t able to find anyone who could or even wanted to help her. Most people didn’t believe her and when she finally mustered up the courage to report it to the police, they just covered it up and relocated the one officer who actually tried to help her. Nothing was done about it, no justice was served. As a result, Chen Xi has been walking around with PTSD for twenty years, tricking herself into believing that she isn’t meant to be happy. She keeps a distance from Hao Ming because she doesn’t want him to go through the same thing as her ex-boyfriend Chiang Yuan (played by Hu Yu Wai), who, despite being extremely supportive at first, left her because her trauma became too much for him to handle and she just wouldn’t “get better”. In the end, going through that alternate reality and reliving the vivid memories, Chen Xi is able to return to her own reality, in which she’s apparently been dissociating all this time: she comes to in the middle of a police interrogation and doesn’t even remember how she got there. Later it’s revealed that she’s been writing a private blog in which she records her dissociations, so she has actually been aware of them for a while but just never managed to seek help because of her self-isolation.

As someone who’s been lucky enough to never go through something like this, the depiction of Chen Xi’s deteriorating mental health caused by this horrendous event in her youth struck me very hard and repeatedly brought me to tears. I’ve mentioned it several times before in other reviews, but I always appreciate it so much when drama writers use their platform to convey a serious message and spread awareness. I deeply respect this show for painting such a raw and realistic image of the severity of sexual assault. It means all the more to see an Asian show like this because I believe that this kind of topic is an even bigger taboo in Asian countries and cultures. I recently came across a documentary called Black Box Diaries about a Japanese journalist who set out to investigate her own sexual assault by an influential superior, so my awareness regarding this topic happened to be already heightened when I started watching this series. All in all, I thought this drama was both heartwrenching and, with regards to the ending, extremely empowering at the same time.

Within the alternate reality, Chen Xi finds her real life colliding with one where things took a slightly different turn, and these two lives start blending together to the point where it becomes hard to distinguish what’s real and what isn’t. In this regard, I was lowkey reminded of The Light in Your Eyes, where we see the events unfold through the lens of a woman with dementia and it’s revealed in the final episode that almost the entirety of the show was one big Alzheimer’s episode. I’ve seen several source sites explaining it as an alternate reality, but in fact it’s actually one big dissociation that Chen Xi has.
It’s not even that she got into a coma after the accident, because it’s revealed after she returns that she’s been walking around, albeit in a mindless state, and she even went to a police station. The pieces fall together when she realizes that the people she encountered in the alternate reality weren’t just people from her past but also neighbors from her apartment complex in the real world. One neighbor became the apothecary guy that caused her car accident in the alternate reality, and one man and his daughter became a hardware store clerk and a girl from the study center she worked at. It doesn’t seem like she actively created this alternate reality as a way of coping with her past, but more like her mind walked away with her and unconsciously put in familiar faces from her neighborhood. It’s more like a dream in that sense, where your consciousness picks up details and impressions from things you’ve seen and puts them in a random setting in your mind. In any case, the main recurring “characters” in her dissociation/alternate reality are the people that she was closest to at the time of the rape.

Chen Xi (as a teen played by Lin Yi Lan) grew up in a family of four: her mother Chiu Wan Fen (Li Pei Ling), her father Lin Yu Sheng (Wang Yi Cheng) and her twin brother Lin Chen Ye (as a teen played by Chang Kai Zhe, as an adult by Xu Jun Hao). We don’t get to see too many flashbacks of how she was as a teen, but she generally seemed to be a sociable and bright girl with many hopes for the future. She cared a lot about her grades, and was very popular in high school for both her looks and her academic results. Her two best friends in high school were Cen Chi Ling (as a teen played by Lin Si Ting, as an adult by Li Pei Yu) and Yang Jia Ying (as a teen played by Xu Zhu Ting, as an adult by Wen Zhen Ling). In reality, Chen Xi broke things off with them after they betrayed her trust and caused her secret to be leaked through school, but in her alternate reality they somehow kept in touch.
Lastly, there’s Yen Sheng Hua (as a teen played by Hu Miu Miu, as an adult by Jia Jing Wen), another girl from Chen Xi’s class who went through the same ordeal with that teacher, but who was never brave enough to speak up about it and in that sense also left Chen Xi on her own. Before her car accident in the real world, Chen Xi just happened to meet Sheng Hua again through a work party she attended… as Danny’s wife.

I’d like to go over Chen Xi’s family members and friends one by one.
Starting with her family, as mentioned above Chen Xi grew up in a family of four, with both her parents and her twin brother Chen Ye. In the first episode, it’s established that in the real world, both her father and her brother passed away several years earlier, but the cause of their deaths is only explained in the final episode. In the real world, Chen Xi left her hometown after graduating high school and asked her family not to come looking for her. While building her career she told people (including Hao Ming) that both her parents had passed away – she really wanted a clean slate. This went so far that she didn’t even come back home after hearing that her father and brother had died. Her mother was left alone after losing all her family members, and has been trying to reach Chen Xi time and time again, to no avail.
In the alternate reality, after Chen Xi finally musters up the courage to tell her mother what’s happened, Wan Fen immediately believes her – her face when she comes out of her daughter’s room after hearing what happened is heartbreaking in itself. In the two-on-two conversation with the teacher and his wife, Chen Xi’s mother is the only one defending her daughter, and she’s always blamed her husband for settling the case rather than persecuting the teacher.
I thought that the character of Chen Xi’s mother was depicted very realistically. While she initially comes across as a slightly tough-love kind of mom, and you’d wonder how she would react, especially since she’d been classmates with that teacher herself, the way she crumbled after hearing the news and didn’t reprimand Chen Xi whatsoever was very reassuring. Admittedly, she also tried to hide the truth from her after she lost her memory, but in hindsight I really believe there was no ill intention in that. She just felt so sorry for what her daughter had to go through that she saw the amnesia as a kind of blessing in disguise that could help her daughter regain her joy in life. I think this came across really well in how heartbroken she seemed when watching how Chen Xi couldn’t even help her out in the kitchen anymore, and how she expressed her agony over why her daughter had to keep suffering like this.
I’m really glad that Chen Xi ended up visiting her back in the real world and that they made up. Although her mother also didn’t have the power to do anything about the situation back in the day, she was still the only adult in Chen Xi’s life who wanted justice for her, and actively spoke up against her husband and the teacher’s wife for not taking proper responsibility.

Although I really blamed Lin Yu Sheng for not believing in or standing up for his daughter, it did sting to see how much that ended up damaging him in the end. I was really mad at him for having the nerve to yell at his daughter why she would make up such stories about her teacher. He even suggested she did it out of spite for her failing grades – because sure, it was just a wave of rebellious adolescence that caused her to suddenly lose all motivation in school when she’d been such a hardworking student all this time. 🙄
In the alternate reality, the other student who went through the same thing as Chen Xi, Sheng Hua, is in hiding because she’s suspected for strangling their teacher in his bed in the caring home where she happened to work. It seems that Chen Xi’s father has been helping Sheng Hua out financially, making sure she got a good job, and he’s been hiding her in his orchard cabin in the mountains.
This was something that wasn’t really clear to me, to be honest. I guess there is some sense in the theory that Yu Sheng was dealing with some lingering regret of failing to stand up for his own daughter, and that he tried to compensate for that by helping out Sheng Hua. But it was never really explained through the narrative how they were related exactly and why Yu Sheng suddenly decided to back Sheng Hua. He even made it look like he was having an affair with her or something, so I couldn’t blame Wan Fen’s suspicion either. In any case, it’s safe to say that Yu Sheng ended up with a crippling sense of guilt towards his daughter. He kept blaming himself for not supporting her from the start by openly suing Teacher Guy. He ultimately died of an illness, and when Chen Xi goes back to her family home in the final episode she has a final short “encounter” with him in which she tells him she’s not mad at him anymore. I thought that was a really tender moment, and the way they hugged each other, both bawling their eyes out, was so touching. The way her father thanked her for forgiving him in the end really made me feel like it was his spirit telling her that he could finally move on now.

Being the same age as Chen Xi, of course there wasn’t much that her twin brother Chen Ye could do about the situation either. Although he’s alive in the alternate reality, he seems to have a very dark mindset and we also see a whole bunch of newspaper scrappings regarding various unfairly processed sexual assault cases on his bedroom wall. As a matter of fact, he’s the one who strangled Teacher Guy in Chen Xi’s alternate reality. Sheng Hua might have drugged him, but Chen Ye wore the gloves that left no fingerprints.
Although there aren’t too many scenes that show the relationship between Chen Xi and Chen Ye, we can see from the way she hugs him after first waking up in the alternate reality that he means a lot to her. When Chen Xi reconnects with her mother in the final episode, Wan Fen reveals that Chen Ye died when he got into an accident on his bike on the way back from visiting Teacher Guy himself. She never knew why he went to see him or what they talked about, and now there’s no one left to tell the tale – although Teacher Guy is still alive in the real world, he’s had a stroke and is unable to speak anymore.
After seeing her father (or his spirit) off for the last time, Chen Xi also has one final encounter with her brother, and I had to fight back tears when Chen Ye told her that maybe he would’ve been able to protect her better if he’d been born as her older brother, one minute earlier.
It was just so heartbreaking to discover with Chen Xi that all these people cared so much about what had happened and all felt so bad about not standing up for justice and the truth when it mattered. It really proves that such events affect more than just the direct victims; Chen Xi’s entire family fell apart after what happened, and it was really touching to see her finally come to terms with that after so many years.

Moving on to Chen Xi’s two best friends, Cen Chi Ling and Yang Jia Ying.
Starting with Chi Ling, she’s the tomboy of the group. As an adult she prefers to wear suits and sneakers rather than skirts and heels, she’s not interested in meeting guys and the way she presents herself can be described as more “masculine”, especially in contrast to Jia Ying. Despite her chill demeanor, Chi Ling has always genuinely cared for her friends, and after Chen Xi opened up to her in private about what happened to her, Chi Ling even admitted that she couldn’t stop crying whenever she thought about it. It’s a shame that Jia Ying ended up revealing the secret to the school, because this caused a vital friction in Chen Xi’s trust towards Chi Ling as she promised not to tell anyone, not even Jia Ying. Still, I did appreciate that she chose to support Jia Ying throughout the shit she went through out of a lingering sense of guilt for not being able to help Chen Xi at the time and not wanting to make the same mistake again.
Throughout the alternate reality, Chi Ling gets her own short storyline in which she starts working at the company that offered Chen Xi a new job in the real world, Daton. However, it doesn’t take Chi Ling long to realize that the company is very shady – not only does her female manager favoritize young male employees while terrorizing the young female ones, the Sales department actually utilizes low-paygrade employees to dine with and entertain their clients outside of office hours. Chi Ling eventually quits her job after discovering that her own colleagues were in on this as well and let themselves be used like that, even after hearing their stories of how desperate they are to work their way up and contribute to their families.

Jia Ying is the opposite of Chi Ling, both in terms of appearance and personality. As a teen, she was already teasingly called a “nympomaniac” by her friends because she was always fantasizing about boys. As an adult, she’s a very confident and wealthy young woman who’s not afraid to put her charms to use. However, the fact that she throws around her bubbliness like that gets her into a couple of nasty situations herself. In the alternate reality, she lives in Chen Xi’s apartment from the real world, and is secretly being stalked by the reception clerk who planted a hidden camera in her bedroom and even sneaks into her room at night to watch her sleep. If that isn’t bad enough, she eventually sleeps with a guy who films her while they’re having sex and he “happens” to leak it to his friends’ group chat, after which the video goes viral, causing Jia Ying to fall from grace in the most disrespectful way.
For some reason she gets mad at Chen Xi when her friends come to see how she’s doing, and tells her something strange: that she finally feels like she “won” over her. It’s ultimately revealed that Jia Ying has been jealous of Chen Xi ever since they were teens, because she always used to be the most admired girl in school and she kept wanting to one-up Chen Xi. Still, after learning what happened to her, it wasn’t actually her intention to blab her secret like that – she was actually trying to stand up for Chen Xi to some girls talking smack about her, and she told the school counsellor in the hopes of helping Chen Xi. Because Chen Xi turned her back on her and Chi Ling after that, they never got to talk it out.

While I liked the storylines from Chi Ling and Jia Ying because it really helped me get a better understanding of their characters, I have to admit that I’m not entirely sure how their storylines played into Chen Xi’s dissociation. After all, Chen Xi wasn’t present during these events at Chi Ling’s company or in Jia Ying’s private life, so how did these storylines come to be? Was it a way to redeem the two of them in her mind, that she imagined them in stressful and damaging situations of their own? I’m also not sure if these things actually happened or that they just played out in the alternate reality.
What I can imagine is that her mind purposely put Jia Ying in a similar position as her, as it played on the knowledge of Jia Ying’s jealousy of her. In the alternate reality, Jia Ying lives in Chen Xi’s apartment and has a social/career status similar to Chen Xi’s as a top headhunter. Even though Danny doesn’t appear in the alternate reality, the element of him filming her as he assaulted her could’ve also been reflected in how that guy filmed Jia Ying during sex and ended up harming her reputation with that.
The element of young people being forced into uncomfortable situations in order to keep contributing to society and their families also kept coming back. The young employees at Chi Ling’s company and the reception clerk at Jia Ying’s apartment were all revealed to be in a desperate situation, beit regarding money or taking care of an elderly relative. Chen Xi even found herself feeling bad for the reception clerk when it was revealed that arresting him would leave his grandma, his only remaining relative, by herself. It also made me think of how Sheng Hua told Chen Xi that she didn’t want to speak up about what happened because she couldn’t bear to face her grandma if she would find out about it.
These situations involve so much shame and guilt that, even when they know they’re being mistreated, people just can’t seem to speak up or report it because they know it’s going to harm the people around them as well.
There could be multiple explanations for how her friends’ storylines fit into Chen Xi’s dissociation episode. On the one hand I liked that I got to think about that by myself, but on the other hand I also would’ve liked if that could’ve been explained a bit more clearly through the narrative, because I still don’t really understand it.

The relationship between Chen Xi and Sheng Hua is even more complex since they both went through the same thing. As I mentioned, the two briefly meet again in the real world, where Sheng Hua is Danny’s wife. I feel like it is quite common for people that went through a traumatic (abusive or sexual) trauma earlier on in life to somehow end up in an equally abusive relationship or even marriage. I couldn’t for the life of me imagine how Sheng Hua and Danny got together, but it was very typical that Sheng Hua got stuck in that same cycle of trauma. Because yeah, Danny didn’t just harrass Chen Xi at work, he was actually an abusive husband at home, as well. Sheng Hua kind of redeems him at some point by talking about how he himself also grew up in a toxic environment with an abusive mother, and that that’s what warped him like that. Still, it was really empowering to see how Sheng Hua ultimately snapped out of her self-punishment and decided to help Chen Xi get the video evidence of how Danny assaulted her.
There were two scenes in the final episode that I found really powerful: the one where she went in the bath and it suddenly hit her that she deserved better, and the one where she recalled her younger self saying, “Maybe things will become better when we grow up” (or something along those lines) in the car. You could just see the realization of “what the hell am I putting myself through” on her face.
In the alternate reality, Sheng Hua stayed in the hometown and she even started caring for Teacher Guy at the caring home she worked at. While she did drug him, Sheng Hua wasn’t actively involved in the murder as she happened to walk in on Chen Ye as he was strangling the guy. Still, it was really heartwrenching to see how she was prepared to take the responsibility for the crime in order not to harm Chen Xi and her family even more. She actually hoped for a better outcome for Chen Xi after she was able to forget about it, and was prepared to doom her own future in order to let at least Chen Xi have a happy ending. It was nice to see the two of them come together in the end. The hugs they shared, both as teens when they realized they went through the same thing, and as adults when they dealed with the Danny situation together brought genuine tears to my eyes.

In hindsight I really felt for Sheng Hua and the position she was in. I’ve learned from other stories of domestic and/or sexual abuse that there are so many people who don’t speak up out of fear or shame or guilt. In this show, it happens in a small town where nothing bad ever happens, and it was very understandable how big of an impact such an event would have on a tight community like that. I thought the most empowering thing at the end of the show, besides Chen Xi deciding to go after Danny, was that Sheng Hua finally cut herself free from the shackles of her low self-esteem. The fact that, even after being tied down by that event for such a long time, both Chen Xi and Sheng Hua were able to find the strength to not let it happen again was incredible.

I know I’ve been referring to him as Teacher Guy, but he does have a name and I do have to discuss him and his wife. Xie Chi Chung (played by Chen Yi Wen) was the math teacher at Chen Xi and her friends’ school and he was a very popular teacher. He and his wife Xie Hui Chen (played by Yu Zi Yu) would even invite groups of students to their house for private tutoring lessons, and Chen Xi was one of those students. Xie Chi Chung always attributed his affection towards the girls to the fact that he never got to have children of his own, and therefore his students were like daughters to him – I vomited a little when he used this as an excuse the first time he intimately hugged Chen Xi in his school office. He pretended to genuinely care about his female students’ futures and offered to support them in any way possible, posing as the best and nicest teacher ever, but in the meantime he kept eyeing their necklines and youthful faces when they weren’t paying attention. What’s worse is that, in Chen Xi’s case, he never even took responsibility for his deed and he actually poisoned her against her parents, saying that he may have given off mixed signals or something. I can never understand the audacity of a middle-aged man who just assumes that everyone should agree that a teenage girl would be willingly attracted to him. There are actual child(!!) rape cases where a grownass man has claimed that he was seduced and/or given consent by his victim, it’s unbelievable. Being a respectable and loved teacher shouldn’t mean anything if this is how you treat your students, especially after they’ve warmed up to you as a supportive and dependable adult or even a father figure. It’s disgusting.
What I did find curious was that Sheng Hua told Chen Xi that, each time it happened to her (which means he did it to her multiple times?!) he would apologize afterwards (this also turned out to be the reason she stuck by Danny), but for some reason with Chen Xi he couldn’t even bring himself to admit he did it. The way he just casually touched her shoulder again the next day at school and told her he was worried about her was insane. I just can’t understand how people can be like that, not even taking responsibility for what they’ve done to another person, especially such a young girl.

One of the most realistic parts of the series for me was how Chen Xi started behaving afterwards. How she went home and just started throwing buckets of water over herself in an attempt to “cleanse” it off her. This habit later went on as we see adult Chen Xi taking fully-clothed showers, just letting the water pour – no amount of cleaning was ever going to be enough to wash everything off. That makes me think of a line from a play I once did, “A Kind of Hades” by Lars Norén, in which a girl claiming to have been sexually assaulted says something along the lines of, “You can wash a stain off a piece of clothing, but you can’t wash a stain off a soul”. The way she was haunted by nightmares of Xie Chi Chung lying on top of her saying, “Just a little bit more” was also excruciating. Again, I just want to applaud this drama for portraying the effects and aftermath of such a traumatic experience in such a raw and realistic way.

Sometimes we say that being aware of and looking away from sexual assault is equally bad or even worse than executing the assault itself. The one person in this drama that set my teeth on edge more than Xie Chi Chung himself was his wife, Xie Hui Chen. I honestly didn’t understand how she could live with herself. She admitted being aware of his sins and hating him for it, so why the hell did she keep blaming it all on the girls even after he died?! After walking in on her husband raping Chen Xi, she only steadied herself on the fridge for a SECOND before she put on MUSIC and started COOKING DINNER. Her accusations weren’t just a way to support her husband because she wasn’t actually aware of what went down, no, she’d seen it with her own eyes. I get that her husband may have put some pressure on her to hush it up but she kept accusing Chen Xi and Sheng Hua even after he died! Heck, she even took advantage of Chen Xi’s amnesia to fill her head with false facts about how Sheng Hua had probably killed her husband and also likely seduced Chen Xi’s father.
Even after Wan Fen came to visit her one last time to ask her why she did what she did, she still pretended to be a victim and that those girls ruined her marriage. She kept saying she had to keep up being a good wife, like, she didn’t even have a family anymore at this point, so why did she still keep accusing those girls? She was unbelievable. Honestly, even after seeing her get mad at her incapacitated husband in the final episode and telling him how much she’s always hated him for making her go along with his lies… I still believe that was on her. She went along with his lies even though she could’ve made the ultimate difference in busting him. So yeah, she’s not redeemed to me. She could’ve been pivotal in getting justice, and if she really hated her husband that much all this time it makes even less sense to me why she chose to keep up the pretense of a loyal wife.

I’d like to finish off this character analysis segment with Hao Ming/Xiao Liu because UGH this man has my heart. I’m not even lying when I say that I lowkey fell in love with him, lol.
Hao Ming was literally the greenest flag ever. Despite the fact that Chen Xi tried to distance herself from him, he kept trying to be there for her in every possible way. The way he cleaned her entire house for her out of his own volition after she told him she was looking for a cleaner because she made a mess at home?? The way he invited himself to her meeting with Danny after the assault and was ready to punch him in the face despite not even knowing what had happened yet?? The way he bawled his eyes out after discovering what she went through and reading her private blog about her dissociations?? The way he joined a freaking SUPPORT GROUP on how to support a traumatized partner?? The way he got in touch with her mother and paid off her entire house debt for her?? The way he was so respectful but kept showing her time and time again that he wasn’t going anywhere and pleaded with her to at least let him stay by her side?? Seriously, where can I get a Hao Ming? I want one. 😭
I’m glad that Chen Xi really loved him, at least. She didn’t want to break up because she felt uncomfortable with him, but because she wanted to protect him so he wouldn’t get hurt like Chiang Yuan had before. By the way, I thought it was really nice that Chiang Yuan was the one who urged Hao Ming to keep supporting her because her pushing him away meant that she actually really needed him. I thought that was very mature of him as an ex-boyfriend, also because it showed that even though he couldn’t handle it, he still cared about Chen Xi’s wellbeing and wanted her to be happy as well. The way that Chen Xi desperately tried to reach Hao Ming after what Danny did, even after she’d just told him that she wanted to break up with him, only confirmed all the more that she really loved Hao Ming and felt safe with him.
In the alternate reality, her mind somehow merges Hao Ming with that one police officer that once tried to help her out, who was called Xiao Liu. Although his personality and style are the complete opposite of the Hao Ming she knows, Chen Xi still finds herself drawn to him and vice versa. She ultimately admits to Hao Ming that she must have merged the two of them because he had always been that person to her who stood by her and wanted to help her. He was the best partner she could’ve ever wished for, all the more because he respected that she wasn’t well enough to think about marriage yet and he would be there for her all the way until she was. As much as I love a good romance and I would’ve loved to see a kiss between Hao Ming and Chen Xi, it made me love him all the more that he kept a respectful distance and didn’t touch her until she would tell him she was ready. We need more Hao Mings and Xiao Lius in the world.

Now that I’ve covered all the characters I wanted to discuss, I’d like to point out a couple of things that remained a bit vague to me until the end. There were a couple of storylines that were introduced in the alternate reality that I found hard to place within Chen Xi’s experiences. I’ve mentioned the examples of Chi Ling and Jia Ying before, but this also went for the storyline about Lin Yu Sheng protecting Sheng Hua, for example. I came up with a theory of my own, that he did it to somehow compensate for failing his daughter, but I still found it a bit weird. After all, it had been twenty years since the rape and Chen Xi was still around, so there must have been a way to still make it up to his own daughter instead of the other victim, right? The way his “relationship” with Sheng Hua was revealed and the way he seemingly wanted to put distance between himself and his wife, it really did feel like he was having an affair at first. I wish it would’ve been explained a bit more clearly how exactly Yu Sheng got involved with Sheng Hua. For Chen Ye, it was made clear that he overheard Sheng Hua tell an unconscious Chen Xi after her accident that she was going to “put him to sleep”, so I guess he acted on that. But even if it was meant as compensation for his daughter, I still couldn’t help but feel like it was a bit of a stretch for Yu Sheng to start caring so much for Sheng Hua instead. I would’ve liked a bit more explanation about that storyline.
I already mentioned this in the discussion of Chi Ling’s and Jia Ying’s storylines, but it really did remind me of The Light in Your Eyes. I remember that show also showed some storylines between supporting characters where the main character wasn’t even present, so I keep wondering how Chen Xi’s mind came up with these. Because of this, I also found it hard to gauge what exactly was the truth, like what really happened and what was just a figment of Chen Xi’s dissociation?
The scene in which the two worlds collided and Chen Xi woke up from the alternate reality only “explained” it in images and not words, and it went by so fast that I couldn’t make sense of all of it. I guess different elements from the real world were reflected in events from the alternate reality in one way or another and it wasn’t meant to be black and white, but after finishing the series I still couldn’t help but feel like I would’ve liked a little bit more explanation on certain storylines from the alternate reality.
Another element that I found a bit hard to place was the role of the blind street vendor girl, because she seemed to be quite significant even though she wasn’t based off of someone from the real world as far as I know. She appeared in the alternate reality as someone that Chen Xi knew, and she was the one who told Chen Xi that you could hear it clearly when someone was lying – which Chen Xi then tested out on Xie Hui Chen. Did the blind girl have another additional purpose that I missed? I feel like she must’ve been utilized as more than just a plot tool to tell Chen Xi about the lying.
I also found Chiang Yuan’s return in the alternate reality a bit hard to gauge. He didn’t seem to be any different from the real world, he was still her ex-boyfriend who traveled the world and sent her photos wherever he went, but it also seemed like he wanted to get back into her life or something. The way he and Jia Ying had that little rendezvous almost made it seem like they were plotting something together or were even having an affair. This turned out not to be the case, but I guess I would’ve liked a bit more clarity on how he related to Jia Ying, all the more since she made it clear to him in person that she didn’t care that much about Chen Xi. Chiang Yuan also seemed adamant on keeping Chen Xi away from the truth, and he specifically didn’t want her to remember Sheng Hua for some reason, but that was also not explained furthe. I guess it could just be that he was another person who thought the amnesia was a blessing in disguise that could finally help Chen Xi come out of her darkness.
So yeah, there were a couple of storylines and interactions between supporting characters that I didn’t fully understand and would’ve liked to grasp better.
As I was watching this series, it somehow reminded me of how I felt while watching Something in the Rain, another very good and empowering series that deals with sexual harrassment on the workfloor. I thought Shards of Her was incredibly powerful in its acting, writing and overall execution. I also liked that it ended with Chen Xi gradually picking herself up, in no rush to catch up to Hao Ming who was waiting for her at the end of the street with a smile on his face. I guess my only criticisms are really just those small ambiguities and question marks that I was left with after finishing it. While I appreciated the open ending, I guess I would’ve liked a bit more closure? At the end? But yeah, overall it really grabbed me and actually managed to move to tears multiple times, which doesn’t happen often.

Before moving on to my cast comments, I would like to make a couple final remarks about other elements from the show that I found interesting or made an impact on me.
First of all, the name “Seher”. We find out through Hao Ming’s perspective in the first episode that the name derives from a book of the same name by the Turkish writer Selahattin Demirtaş. I haven’t read it, but I found something interesting in the summary on Goodreads: apparently it’s a collection of short stories about “ordinary people living through extraordinary times”. The titular story “Seher” is about a young woman who is “robbed of her dreams in an unimaginable act of violence”. Sound familiar? Can’t say I blame Chen Xi for identifying with a story like that. I liked that they came up with such a unique and meaningful international name for her, it actually made me curious to read the book myself!

As I sometimes do, I would also like to compare the original and English titles of this series. The original Taiwanese title can be translated to something like “She, Her and Her”, if I’m correct. It features the character for “her” (她 ta) three times. I couldn’t help but wonder if that has anything to do with the three versions of Chen Xi that exist within the story? Her teen self and the two from the different realities? I think it’s a really interesting title. I also really like “Shards of Her”, because it doesn’t only refer to different versions or aspects of one person, but also to the literal image of breaking glass when Chen Xi finally manages to break out of her dissociation. I think it holds a very relevant ambiguity that directly relates to the mental state of the main character, so I find the English title very well chosen.

I also really loved the song that plays during the opening sequence. I thought it matched the vibe of the series very well, and it even had something melancholic and haunting to it. It’s called “Shattered Fullness” (very fitting, also with regards to the English title of the show) and it’s performed by an artist called Xiao Yu. I thought it was a really good song with great vocals, and it was utilized very powerfully within the show as well. When it played during that final sequence where Chen Xi narrated that she was finding her way back to the light and you saw all those people from different phases in their life, it actually gave me goosebumps. This show really knew how to combine music with images.

Lastly I just want to say a couple of things regarding the acting and casting in general. As I mentioned before, I thought the acting in this drama was VERY good. Something that jumped out to me in particular was how well the actors were made up to look like they aged. While Chen Xi and her friends had younger versions portraying them as teens, the actors for Chen Xi’s parents and the Xie couple remained the same, and I thought they did such a good job of aging them. I don’t know what they did to their skins and hair and how they added such natural looking old-age spots and greying hair effects, but it looked incredibly realistic. I’ve seen several dramas where people literally just get a blatant cheap white-hair wig to show they’ve aged, so the attention to detail even in the make-up really impressed me.
I also loved the consistency when it came to the casting of the younger versions of the main characters. I can imagine it’s really difficult to find a teenage actor that can pass for the younger version of an entirely different adult actor, and I’ve become accustomed to seeing younger versions that have completely different facial shapes. But in this case, holy cow! I honestly thought for a while that young and adult Sheng Hua were the same person because their faces look so much alike. I also really love that they kept the consistency of Chen Xi’s slightly Western-looking features by casting an actress with a Western lineage for both the younger and adult version of the character. Lin Yi Lan, or Charlize Lamb, who plays teen Chen Xi, is Taiwanese-American and Xu Wei Ning or Tiffany Xu, who plays adult Chen Xi, has an Italian-American father. It was really cool that, even though there weren’t any foreign roots in Chen Xi’s family, they still kept that slightly foreign beauty on Chen Xi throughout, that was really satisfying consistency.

The time has come for the cast comments! I knew basically no one from the cast, so I’m excited to make some first references here.

First of all, Xu Wei Ning/Tiffany Xu is absolutely gorgeous. She has such a unique face and beautiful features. When I checked MyDramaList and went through her records, I saw that she played a role in the Taiwanese ItaKiss, It Started With a Kiss. I don’t remember the Taiwanese names of the characters, but I believe she must have played Yuuko, the girl who becomes the college love rival, the one from the tennis court scene – my associations are shattered as well, lol. I was really impressed by her performance in this show, I thought she managed to convey the deep and dark layers of Chen Xi’s character and trauma very well. It must’ve been a very challenging role, but her emotional acting was incredible and she really showed different sides to her. It was very reassuring to see her in a more cheerful mood at the end of the show, it really made me root for her character to gradually heal now that she knew she was surrounded by people who genuinely cared about her. She was able to come across as both incredibly fragile and empowering, and that’s a really rare quality, I think. I really hope I’ll get to see more of her in the future!

As I mentioned, Li Cheng Bin/Toby Lee managed to steal my heart in this drama. I’m adding him to my Asian drama actor crushes as we speak, lol, because he is FINE. I really loved that he got to play two distinctly different roles, which he both performed amazingly well – I actually fell for two different people. I think he captured the gentleness and sincerity of Hao Ming as the supporting and caring boyfriend very well. It’s funny because in terms of character, Xiao Liu made a bigger impression on me. This is probably because we’re introduced to him more elaborately throughout the majority of the series than we are to Hao Ming in the first and last two episodes, but I somehow ended up loving them both to bits. In contrast to Hao Ming, who always wears a suit and presented himself as very neat, Xiao Liu is kind of shabby-looking and clearly doesn’t care too much about how he dresses. I also liked that they made the comparison of how scruffily he ate his food, lol. Xiao Liu is casual but good-hearted and it somehow hit me even more when he started feeling attached to Chen Xi and how he was like, “this never happened to me before, okay! 😳”, that was cute. I was just happy that Hao Ming and Chen Xi managed to work it out in the end, I kept praying that she wouldn’t end up pushing him away for good. I said it and I will say it again: I need a Hao Ming (or a Xiao Liu 👀) in my life as well.

Can I just say how impressed I was with Wu Kang Ren/Chris Wu’s acting in this show? When I realized that he was the main character from Copycat Killer, my mouth literally fell open because his role there and his portrayal of Danny are literally a world of difference! Despite the fact that Danny is undeniably the biggest red flag in this show, I just couldn’t help but enjoy his performance because he was SO GOOD. The way he actually produced tears as he was accusing Chen Xi of assaulting him and how pathetic he was with his face injury, he played it SO WELL. I was genuinely impressed by this completely other side of his acting. He was the only actor in this show that I’d seen in something else before, but at the same time it was like seeing him for the first time. I remember thinking he came across as such a caring guy in CK, and here he literally gave me the creeps with just one look. What an incredible actor, I’m definitely excited to see more from him now!

I ended up being very impressed by Jia Jing Wen/Alyssa Chia’s portrayal of Sheng Hua, especially because of the switch her character made in the final episode. Before that, she’s kind of the same, very timid and soft-spoken, but I really loved that they made her break out of that cycle in the final episode, that was so empowering to watch. Although the story was mainly about Chen Xi’s trauma, it was really cool how she became a part of that and the two ended up ending each other’s trauma together. Also, I’ll say it again, the casting of her younger version was insanely good, I actually believed they were the same person. MDL doesn’t credit the younger version actress, but I managed to find out from DramaWiki that she’s called Hu Miu Miu. They both did a really good job at portraying Sheng Hua’s fragility and simultaneous strength.

Apparently Li Pei Yu/Patty Lee is a singer! I really liked her portrayal of Chi Ling, she had a really nice vibe about her and seemed like a genuinely cool person to be around. Since I liked her so much as a character, it was reassuring to find out that she had been on Chen Xi’s good side all along and felt genuinely bad and ashamed about what happened and how she ended up spilling Chen Xi’s secret. They made a really fun trio, I thought the dynamic between them was really nice to watch. I also liked to get a better insight into how Chi Ling was as an individual through that little arc about her job. All in all I thought she brought a very relatable and fun energy to the show. I also really liked the performance of her younger version actress, Lin Si Ting/Tammy Lin), she brought a really nice cheekiness to the friend group.

I kept thinking I recognized Wen Chen Ling/Forest Wen from something, she looks really familiar. But maybe she just has “one of those faces”, I don’t know. Anyway, I liked that they gave her character a bit of an edge but still didn’t make her the typical “bitch” character. It was nice that, despite her jealousy towards Chen Xi, Jia Ying did actually feel bad for what happened to her and she actively tried to shut anyone up who spread rumors about Chen Xi had seduced the teacher. I think the actress managed to portray the different layers of her character, both the edgy petty side and the bubbly friendly side, very well. Her younger version actress, Xu Zhu Ting/Annika Xu (again not credited on MDL!) also did a good job, especially in the scenes where things between her and Chen Xi started to fracture.

One of the actresses that managed to impress me the most in this drama was Li Pei Ling/Ding Ning, who played Chen Xi’s mother. I thought her emotional acting in particular was amazing. I still can’t forget how she acted out the scenes where she came out of Chen Xi’s room after hearing the news and just crumbled down crying, the one where she went to confront Xie Hui Chen one more time, and the one where Chen Xi finally came to visit her in the final episode and they hugged while she was sobbing about why she left her all by herself. She genuinely seemed to be taken over by her emotions and the tears just started welling up automatically, and I thought that was incredible. I think she did a fantastic job.

Even though I hated her character, I was also very impressed by the actress who played Xie Hui Chen, Yu Zi Yu/Sara Yu. She has such a beautiful, characteristic face as well, I think that if she played a “good” character she would exude the warmest, most loving energy. I always say that an actor is all the better if they can pull off a truly hated character, and this truly applies here. Same as with Danny’s case, I was just so taken by the acting that the portrayal of the character became all the more impressive to me. It was really cool to see how she balanced the different layers of her character, because she was actually a good person who knew her husband did the unforgiveable, but somehow she still managed to trick herself into believing that she had to keep up appearances to protect her own reputation as well as his. It was a very messy balance, but I think the actress did a really good job.

Wang Yi Cheng/Vins Wang, who played Chen Xi’s father, also looked really familiar to me, but I don’t think I’ve seen him in anything else before. There is one more Taiwanese drama on my list that he appears in, so we’ll see about that! As with every actor in this show, I think he did a really good job in terms of emotional acting. While he also had a rigid streak to him, especially in how he didn’t believe his own daughter at first, it was clear to see from Chen Xi’s first reaction to seeing him in the alternate reality that she really loved him and he was a really kind father. I especially loved the part between him and his daughter at the end, where she forgave him, that was performed really well by the both of them. I just loved how all the characters had such great chemistry, beit between parents and their children or friends amongst each other.

Apparently, Xu Jun Hao/Jake Xu was also in Life Plan A and B, although I don’t remember him from there. That was a really good show as well. I really loved the portrayed bond between Chen Xi and Chen Ye, and the way he talked to her during their final enouncter was absolutely heartwrenching. I don’t think it was established as such, but it really felt as if his own mental health started deteriorating from the moment his sister went through the assault – I guess that’s what you get with twins sometimes, that they’re telepathically connected in a way? I’m really curious what he set out to talk about with Xie Chi Chung on the day that he got into the accident. I thought he did a good job in portraying Chen Ye as both a loving and caring brother and someone who was battling his own demons.
I noticed that MDL also doesn’t credit the younger version actor for Chen Ye, but luckily DramaWiki does, he’s called Zhang Kai Zhe. His character made a big transformation from goofy and energetic teen to withdrawn and solemn adult. I wish there could’ve been a bit more revealed about Chen Ye’s psyche and personality, but he already managed to move me by being such a loving brother to Chen Xi.

Chen Yi Wen was another actor that looked familiar, but I don’t think I’ve seen him in anything else before. I see that he’s also directed and screenwritten several shows before. I think he was a really good casting choice for Xie Chi Chung: the way he suddenly changed from friendly teacher to predator was pretty scary. If he’d actually been a guy who temporarily got carried away by his longing for a daughter, I might’ve actually redeemed him because there were moments where he did seem to hold back, but when he finally struck he was absolutely merciless. As with the other actors portraying “bad people” in this show, while I watched his character I was partially disgusted and partially impressed because his acting was also really good. I honestly feel like this drama is a great example of characters that are horrible but not completely hateable because you just can’t deny what a great job the actors are doing.

I just want to make one final comment on Hu Yu Wai/George Hu, because it was only until after I finished the show that I realized he played the main lead in the Taiwanese adaptation of Hayate the Combat Butler, starring alongside Park Shin Hye. It’s been ages since I watched that, but once I saw his name I was like, “Hayate?!”, lol. I was a bit lost on what kind of person Chiang Yuan was in the beginning. When he first appeared in the alternate reality I honestly didn’t get a very good vibe from him, and in my mind I was already shooing him away as a potential love rival because I was already shipping Chen Xi and Xiao Liu at this point, lol. But it seemed that in the real world, he was a genuinely caring ex-boyfriend and I thought it was very mature of him to actually help Hao Ming out and supported him to do better for Chen Xi than he did. In hindsight, although there are still a couple of things I didn’t fully understand like his one-on-one talks with Jia Ying, I think he was a good guy and the actor did a good job as well.

I’ve actually managed to write this review in one day, woohoo! I’m guessing it’s because it’s a shorter series and the story was quite concise as well. It’s also been a while since I wrote so many cast comments, but that’s just because I was so impressed by all the actors that I wanted to give everyone some sort of shoutout.

This was a genuinely emotional and intense drama to watch, and I would urge people to take careful note of the trigger warnings in advance. Prepare and protect yourself, because it’s a wild ride. I’m very glad that I got to watch it though, I know it was going to be good and I wasn’t disappointed. I even obtained a new actor crush which was something I didn’t realize I was craving but it definitely was, lol. All in all, the acting, the writing, the music and the execution were all very impressive, and my criticism really doesn’t go much further than that I would’ve liked some elements to be explained a bit more clearly. I get that some things aren’t black and white, and some things can’t be properly put into words, but I personally would’ve like to gain a better understanding of how exactly this particular dissociation worked and how all the additional storylines fit into Chen Xi’s personal experience. Other than that, color me impressed and emotionally moved to the max.

I may be able to fit one more series in before the end of the year! December is going to be filled with social engagements and the final feedback applications for my translation, but I want to try and watch at least one more show before 2024 is over. We’ll see when the next review drops.

Until then, bye-bee! x