Disclaimer: this is a review, and as such it contains spoilers of the whole series. Please proceed to read at your own risk if you still plan on watching this show or if you haven’t finished it yet. You have been warned.

First Love: Hatsukoi
(First Love 初恋)
MyDramaList rating: 8.5/10

Hello everyone! I’m back with a new review and those who’ve watched it can probably agree with me that this was a very fitting watch for this season. At least where I live it’s been incredibly cold and I’ve been craving some genuine warmth in more than one way. I’m really glad I moved this series up on my list because it really gave me just that: warmth, in more than one way.
I just want to start out by saying that this really is one of the best Japanese dramas that I’ve seen in a very long time. I will give my comments and arguments in more detail below, of course, but I just wanted to put that out there before I start. This really was my kind of drama in terms of pace, story, build-up, character development and chemistry. It was like watching a movie in 9 parts, as the whole thing is visualized so beautifully and the cinematography was really impressive. The whole show was heartwarming and it made great use of some powerful tools like nostalgia and music. Let’s get on with it, shall we?

First Love: Hatsukoi is a 9-episode Netflix J-Drama that tells the love story of two people that spans over 20 years from when they first meet in high school to when they meet again as adults. Their story starts in Hokkaido, 2001, when the then 15-year old singer-songwriter Utada Hikaru brings out her debut album called ‘First Love’.
As a teen, Noguchi Yae (played by Yagi Rikako) is perceived as her school’s goddess in both beauty and academics. She receives love confessions from class- and schoolmates all the time, but she doesn’t really seem to be interested. In truth, she secretly has the hots for school troublemaker Namiki Harumichi (played by Kido Taisei), who is popular in his own way. His troublemaking tendencies also give him a certain charm that also attracts a lot of the female students’ attention. However, as it happens, these two are completely smitten with each other. When they end up confessing their feelings there really isn’t anything or anyone able to break them apart. It’s like they’re meant to be together, soulmates, whatever you wish to call it.
Yae lives with her mother Noguchi Kihako (played by Koizumi Kyoko). Her parents got divorced after Yae’s father chose to live with his second family. Kihako doesn’t have a high educational background, she always did factory work and worked herself to the bone to fend for her and her daughter. The fact that she has such an outstandingly smart and beautiful daughter is her big pride, and she really does everything she can to make sure Yae is happy. When her daughter starts dating Harumichi, she doesn’t forbid it, but she still is kind of cautious of his possible influence on her. Harumichi comes from a big and lively family, he grew up with his parents, grandfather and deaf younger sister Yuu. His best friend and classmate is Kawano Bonji (played by Wakabayashi Jiei), who’s almost always hanging out at his place as well.
For the two teens, their backgrounds of course don’t matter at all. They just relish in their affection for each other and enjoy their first love without regrets. Their portrayal of such a pure and genuine first love is the foremost heartwarming thing about this show. Against the backdrop of snowy and cold Hokkaido, they don’t seem cold at all when they’re together. And of course it’s not just about physical attraction or anything like that, they really trust each other like they trust no one else. Harumichi is the only person Yae entrusts her secret dream of becoming a stewardess with, and Harumichi is always Yae’s number one supporter whatever she does, whether it’s when she participates in an English public speaking contest or when she shares her dream with him. When they plan a trip together, Harumichi ends up taking Yae to visit her father instead, as he just notices that she wants to meet him, even though that endeavor causes him to be put in a bad light towards Yae’s mother, as they ended up spending the night together without informing her that they wouldn’t make it back home the same day. After graduation, Harumichi signs up to join the Self-Defense Forces’ aviation division – he ignored it when his family suggested he join the SDF but immediately signed up after seeing how much Yae admired the airplanes crossing over Hokkaido all the time. Yae manages to get into university in Tokyo and even gets the chance to study abroad.

The scenes depicting this wonderful love story are intertwined with scenes from adult Yae (now played by Mitsushima Hikari) and adult Harumichi (now played by Satou Takeru), about 15 years later. Although they both live in Sapporo, their lives are not connected anymore. Yae works as a taxi driver and Harumichi is part of the security team for an apartment building. As we switch between past and present, we can’t help but wonder what happened to them, what made them end up with these jobs and, more importantly, without each other?
We are shown that Yae has a teenage son but isn’t together with the father anymore. She still wires money to her ex-husband, and we see that when her son comes to visit her, she’s incredibly fond of him. When her son eventually becomes a link to reconnect her with Harumichi, we see her greet him without a single shocked expression – it’s like she doesn’t know him, even though Harumichi is seemingly taken aback. In fact, we’ve seen him try to chase her before after spotting her in a taxi, seemingly recognizing her on the spot. Yet he doesn’t even clarify to her who he is. What is going on here?

Let me just talk about the characters in chronological order, starting with teen Yae and Harumichi. I loved their relationship so freaking much. Especially when we find out at the end how far Harumichi actually came, that he’d fallen for Yae way before she even learned about his existence, and how he studied so hard to get into their local school in Hokkaido purely because he wanted to meet her again. He knew from the moment he saw her that destiny was at play, and although people may find this cringy, it just made me love Harumichi all the more for his pureness. In the end, it really made think, get yourself someone who feels for you the way Harumichi feels for Yae. And it was just so adorable how, even though he was head over heels for her, he didn’t even immediately get the hint when she started giving him signs back.
I loved that part where he got to witness several love confessions to Yae as he was smoking on the school roof during lunch break, how he told her that asking for someone’s favorite food meant that they liked you, but then didn’t get it when she asked for his favorite food and only went O___O when he got home and Bonji told him how dense he was. He legit went from ‘Napolitan 8D’ to ‘WAIT A DAMN MINUTE’, haha. It was just so cute to see them cuddle in their poofy padded coats in the snow, how just looking at each other’s face tangibly made their hearts swell up.
I just loved how sincere Harumichi was, but he never ceased to maintain his quirkiness. He really made me laugh out loud multiple times with his antics and his facial expressions. When his family was like ‘Join the Self-Defense Forces’ and he went ‘Nah man’ and then a plane flew over and Yae was like ‘So cool~’ and he was like ‘!!!’ He really was all-in for Yae, and it was adorable. I think that he managed to express his love for her the most, even though Yae’s feelings were equally strong.

Harumichi’s decision to join the SDF is the first thing that makes them start drifting away from each other. He isn’t allowed to use his phone during the day, so he can only call her during a specific time in the evening, and it starts to happen more frequently that she isn’t able to pick up as she starts participating in college activities and such.
However, it comes as a blessing for both of them when Harumichi secures a break and he will come to visit her in Tokyo. As Yae has just heard about her approved application to start studying abroad in Canada, she wants to wait until they meet so she can tell him personally rather than over the phone.
But when they meet, things have definitely changed a little. I must admit I found it a little bit inconsiderate of Yae to just invite her friends to join their dinner – Harumichi literally came all that way just for her and now he couldn’t even get a moment alone with her. Not only does he not get along with the people that join them, he ends up hearing the news of Yae’s study abroad from someone else and this angers him. He says some hurtful things to Yae, and this in turn hurts Yae even more as he was the first person she wanted to share her happy news with, because he was always the most supportive person to her.
He initially runs away from her then, but then he regrets his behavior and calls her back – and this is when tragedy strikes. Honestly, when it happened, I didn’t immediately grasp what was going on. The sound that came from the other side sounded more like someone screaming to me than someone being hit by a car. I thought at first Yae may have been attacked or something. Anyways, as Harumichi runs back he finds Yae lying on the ground with a head injury – she was hit by a car by being distracted by Harumichi’s phone call (supposedly). But that’s not the worst part, and here’s where a big part of the confusion from the adult scenes was lifted – Yae, indeed, doesn’t recognize Harumichi anymore. The major lingering side effect of her car accident has caused her to lose her memories of the past couple of years. Even though she still remembers her childhood, it’s really only the past couple of high school years that she doesn’t remember, which unfortunately includes her entire encounter with Harumichi.
When Yae is discharged, her mother also actively starts keeping Harumichi out of her life, she doesn’t want Yae’s memory to be triggered in a painful way. He writes her a bunch of letters, which her mom eventually returns to him unopened when he finally finishes his aviation training and comes back to see Yae a couple of years later.
In the meantime, Yae has fallen in love with her doctor in charge at the hospital, Kosaka Yukihito (played by Mukai Osamu), and she’s already gotten pregnant with his child.
Just seeing Harumichi take in this news, and taking into account that he went on with his training, all the while thinking that if he left Yae alone for now and went back to her when he got his life in order (as her mother told him to do), she would remember him again eventually and they’d get back together, was absolutely heartbreaking. To think he went on with his life without ever stopping to think of Yae, while she had completely left him behind (involuntarily, of course) was just so cruel. Yae herself is struggling with her memory loss just as much. She can’t even remember her best friend and just gets upset when she looks at past pictures of her high school time so she eventually decides to stop trying to remember and just go on with her life. Which is fair, of course, but it’s just so sad for Harumichi. He just had to watch as his destined love was ripped apart by a single car accident.
From Yae’s behavior when they meet again as adults, we can establish that she still isn’t able to remember him. However, as soon as they meet again, there is a spark in Yae that makes her unable to forget about him. It’s like she inexplicably becomes interested in him the second they meet, and when they start texting each other a bit and meet up more frequently, she can’t help but feel like this person, this ‘Namiki-san’, is unbelievably her type.

Yae got married to Yukihito and they had their son Tsuzuru (played as a child by Iwakawa Haru). However, as in love she was with her handsome doctor husband in the beginning, Yae starts feeling like she doesn’t belong in the kind of world that he lives in. She’s now part of a very rich family and gets to live in a big house, but her husband rarely has time to spend together anymore and always dismisses whatever she wants to talk about when he comes home because ‘it can’t possibly be more important than all the work he did at the hospital that day’. Furthermore, his mother keeps looking down on Yae’s background and even lies to her acquaintances that Yae is from a really wealthy and respectable family. When she openly looks down on Yae’s mother by stating that she won’t be invited to their next party, how Kihako is too eccentric and won’t fit in because of her low social status and the fact that she likes to drink, Yae finally stands up to her, applies for a divorce, and takes Tsuzuru back to Hokkaido with her, to live in her childhood house with her mom. Even though she loves having her child with her, she has to start working the way her mother used to in order to fend for her family and this causes her to be away for work all the time. She keeps rejecting Yukihito’s suggestions to take over the main care for Tsuzuru as he’s aware of her dire situation, but in the end she can’t help accepting it as she cares about her son’s upbringing more than anything. The scene in which Yukihito and his mom come to take Tsuzuru away from her, how the child is crying for his mom and she starts running after the car, broke my heart into a thousand little pieces. I actually cried at this part.
In the present time, Yae lives by herself in Sapporo while serving as a taxi driver for the local taxi service as the only woman in her team. She gets along well with her male colleagues and doesn’t suffer from any kind of gender-based discrimination, luckily. One of her colleagues, Urabe Otaro (played by Hamada Gaku) is seemingly interested in her, and even though she’s not exactly romantically interested in him, she still gives him a fair chance and they become a bit closer throughout the series. He’s the person who first took her under his lead when she started at the taxi service, and he’s overall very kind to her. They get along well despite their respective quirky demeanors. She meets Harumichi again ‘for the first time’ when her now teenage son Tsuzuru (more about him later) incidentally introduces the two of them.

After learning about Yae’s marriage and pregnancy, Harumichi returned to the Self-Defense Forces and finished his training to become an aviator himself. He even went to serve in Iraq for a couple of years. When he comes back, he’s obliged to take some mandatory therapy sessions in case of PTSD, and he’s assigned to psychological therapist Arikawa Tsunemi (played by Kaho). Despite his initial reluctance towards opening up, he and Tsunemi hit it off pretty well and they start seeing each other after Harumichi is discharged from her sessions. Despite their apparent feelings for each other, Harumichi still doesn’t want to commit to a real relationship, or actually put a label on it, even though Tsunemi does. After meeting his family and learning about the hardships he went through with his first love, Tsunemi is initially a bit worried, but relaxes when she learns that this ‘first love’ is already married to someone else.
In present time, Harumichi and Tsunemi are engaged to be married soon, but Harumichi keeps missing appointments to meet her parents. Especially after he meets Yae again, his will to marry Tsunemi just seems to fade more and more and even though Tsunemi becomes aware of this, she keeps wanting to keep up appearances and avoid bringing up the subject.
I will say a bit more about their relationship later as well, but first I want to talk about Tsuzuru.

In present time, Tsuzuru (now played by Araki Towa) is 14 years old. Even though he officially lives with his father, he occasionally visits his mother Yae in Sapporo. As a teen, he’s a bit secluded and doesn’t express himself. We can see him act a bit distant while his mom is overly excited to see him. As it turns out, Tsuzuru is really passionate about making music, as in, producing it himself. He spends his alone time in his room with music-making software even though his father wants him to concentrate on studying and even has him tutored by esteemed private teachers. As a teen with easy access to social media, Tsuzuru has come to admire a girl named Uta (played by Yamada Aoi). She streams videos of herself dancing in random public places and Tsuzuru is mesmerized by her, both in appearance as in dancing skills. He actually starts making songs inspired by her and keeps trying to track down her location so he can meet her.
One time, he manages to track her location but misses her, only to find that she left her hairpiece behind. The building she was dancing at just happens to be the building where Harumichi works as a security guard and he arranges for Tsuzuru to meet Uta to return her hairpiece to her. After meeting her in real life, Tsuzuru completely falls in love with her. She keeps fascinating him and as she also really appreciates his music and wants to hang out with him more, he can’t believe his own situation. Besides his mom, Uta is the first person that really makes him feel good and at ease with doing what he loves, making music. He goes through an experience of heartbreak after she starts dating someone else, though, and that’s when he also throws his music ambitions aside for a while. He starts living his life the way his father wants him to, focusing purely on his studies and making his family proud. But he can’t help himself, his feelings for Uta are too strong and he keeps thinking about her. The urge to make music, accelerated by thinking of her, becomes too strong too and he eventually succumbs to it, making one final song for her and chasing after her when she’s leaving to Tel Aviv to join a dance company tour. This scene gave me some real Love Actually vibes, how he went after her at the airport and then managed to confess his love and she actually reciprocated them and he went back to his mom with that face like, ‘who the man’, haha.
I think adding Tsuzuru’s story of first love story to be entwined with the main leads’ story of first love was really clever and meaningful. It just shows that first love can happen in any generation, regardless of the changing times. Tsuzuru had music to express his feelings and they eventually got through to Uta, who couldn’t ignore his sincerity. I really liked her character too, she was really genuine, free-spirited and open-minded. Personality-wise you’d say she was the complete opposite of Tsuzuru, but maybe that’s why he admired her all the more, she was so free in what she did, she really followed her heart and he was pretty limited in doing that himself, what with his father’s family’s expectations of him. In the ‘3 years later’ time jump, he’s even made it as a professional producer at 19 years old, so we can only be glad that he decided to follow his heart.

When Yae and Harumichi meet again as adults, the flashbacks of what happened between them as teens make it abundantly clear that this doesn’t automatically mean their happy ending. Yae still doesn’t remember Harumichi, and Harumichi is engaged to Tsunemi. However, the both of them can’t help their almost instinctive attraction to each other. As soon as Yae appears back into his life, it’s like Harumichi never even lost sight of her, it immediately puts a strain on his relationship with Tsunemi. He seemed to be doing fine without her, knowing she was moving on happily with her new family, but seeing her there and then, it just put him right back where he was as a teenager with no one but Yae on his mind. If he had been trying to let go of her, then this just put an end to that. He tries to talk with Tsunemi several times but she keeps avoiding the subject, although we see very clearly from her expression that she knows exactly what he’s going to say.

I honestly felt very bad for Tsunemi. She was a really cool person, she was very confident and mature. It’s just that she fell in love with the wrong guy, the guy that wasn’t right for her. The guy who would never be able to forget his first love, and she became a victim of that. She kept trying to hold onto him while he was trying to break free. I did admire how she decided to eventually accept the rejection but never let him diminish her pride. She did break down crying after he left, of course, but she was able to face him confidently until the very end, as she was telling him to leave because she was choosing this for herself. And admittedly, fair enough. I mean, if she’d insisted on getting married, she would’ve just remained miserable for the rest of her life, being confronted every single day with the fact that she wasn’t his number one person, that there was always someone else on his mind. No one should force themselves into a marriage like that.
I also found it a very powerful decision of Harumichi to not immediately run to Yae after breaking off his engagement with Tsunemi. Even though she’d asked him out, he ended up rejecting her as well even after she told him she was in love with him. He just couldn’t bring himself to be with Yae like this. I wonder if it really had to do with the fact their shared memories still meant the most to him, and that he wouldn’t be able to endure getting her back while she still didn’t remember him. For her, it would just be starting a new relationship, but for him it would be a completely new kind of start-over, and I can understand very well how that would’ve been too painful for him.
In the end, he accepts her back without hesitation once she comes to find him after remembering him again, so that was why I felt like their shared memories were so important to him. It was like he couldn’t be with Yae as long as she didn’t remember their past together, and as soon as she did, he welcomed her back with open arms.

Before moving on to my analysis, I want to devote one final paragraph to Harumichi’s younger sister Yuu (played as a teen by Nagasawa Itsuki and as an adult by Minami). Yuu has lost her hearing in an accident that Harumichi also blames himself for (seriously, this guy blames himself for everything that’s happened to the people he cares about). Anyways, she ends up marrying Bonji (as an adult played by Nakao Akiyoshi) and they have a cute little daughter together, Airu (played by Niitsu Chise). Harumichi is a very loving uncle to Airu, and she adores him back. The siblings are still close to him, and Harumichi often hangs out with her and Airu when they come to visit. Yuu used to be against her brother dating as a teen, but after meeting Yae she completely changed her mind about her. Yae even learned sign language because she wanted to be able to talk to Yuu, and they got along very well. She is also very nice to Tsunemi when Harumichi brings her home, and doesn’t even hesitate to tell her about the ‘first love’ issue. She only has her brother’s happiness in mind, she wants him to become happy, especially after seeing what happened to him after he lost Yae. So she’s genuinely rooting for Tsunemi and wants to help her in understanding her brother better. She never becomes spiteful, she never acts like she doesn’t want her brother to end up with anyone else besides Yae or something like that, she really just tries to support him the way he supports her and Airu.
After Harumichi ends up at the hospital for injuring his back while saving Yae from falling down the stairs at the apartment he works at, Yuu meets Yae there and immediately recognizes her, but also instantly sees something’s amiss as Yae doesn’t seem to know who she is and Harumichi is trying to make her stop talking to Yae as if they are acquainted.
This is where things start happening to Yae too, because she starts using sign language automatically even though she doesn’t remember ever learning to do that.
Yuu doesn’t really get involved too much in their relationship afterwards, but I did want to give her a special mention since I really liked her character and she was so important to Harumichi.

I think I’ve covered the story’s summary more than enough with this, so I would like to talk a bit about messages and references that I liked in this show.
One of the many great things about this story was how it so intricately weaved all the characters together and how it paid such great but subtle attention to detail. It really fills in all the gaps of the main leads’ respective storylines bit by bit until they meet again as adults and eventually everything falls back into place. It kept me curious until the end, I kept wanting to know everything that had happened and most of all, I just wanted the universe to pull some strings to ensure that Yae and Harumichi could finally be together without anything or anyone ever getting in their way ever again.
So first of all, the reference to the title. It’s mentioned in the opening credits of each episode that this series was inspired by Utada Hikaru’s two songs, ‘First Love’ and ‘Hatsukoi’. While the titles mean the same thing, the two songs were released exactly 20 years apart, and this is the first link that’s made between the two parallel stories introduced in the first episode. In the teen arc, Utada has just released ‘First Love’, in the adult arc, Utada has just released ‘Hatsukoi’. Both songs are featured in the soundtrack as much as they are actually listened to by the characters in the story. As a fan of Utada’s songs as a teen, Yae listened to ‘First Love’ a lot, especially after getting together with Harumichi. In the end, I found it only more than fitting that this song was the thing that finally triggered her memory and made her remember him. I honestly thought they’d make it more of a big deal, the moment that she’d remember, but it was kept quite small and intimate. As Harumichi had moved out, Tsuzuru had been allowed to take some of this stuff as he was going throw it out anyway, and Tsuzuru chose Harumichi’s old Walkman. As Yae joins him in listening to it, she realizes it has Utada’s ‘First Love’ CD in it, and everything comes back to her. She starts crying, but it’s also like she quietly accepts the truth that is suddenly being revealed to her, that this man she developed feelings for was her first love this entire time.
I don’t understand exactly how it happened, I guess Uta took a trip to Iceland? In any case, she comes back from a trip and shows Tsuzuru a picture she took there in which Harumichi is seen walking in the background. Yae manages to track him down somehow, traveling to Iceland which is kind of familiar to their snowy backdrop in Hokkaido, maybe the snow was just meant to be there for them as well. Anyways, Yae finds him at a small airport in Iceland and reveals she remembers him and then becomes a stewardess on his plane and it’s all just very satisfying and full-circle.

I really loved how the writers made use of these nostalgic themes to link the different time periods together. Besides the Utada Hikaru songs, they really managed to create a timeline, mentioning several important cultural and political events that happened on the news, to emphasize even more the passing of time. The war in Iraq for example, how the Japanese Self-Defense Forces were made to interfere even though they were meant to just be a defense force should anything happen to Japan. The protests of people wanting to stop the SDF to get involved in that. And then the big tsunami in 2011, on the exact day 10 years after Yae and Harumichi buried their time capsule together and promised to meet back there 10 years later. The earthquake and tsunami actually made Harumichi turn around from going back there, as he realized he didn’t want to leave Tsunemi in the dark by herself. And then, they even covered the outbreak of Covid in 2020, just when Yae managed to get a 40-day leave from work to travel and find Harumichi. They used several important and actual historical events to back this story, to give it credibility and support, and I really liked that.
I also loved how incredibly humane they made every single person in the story. Seriously, the way every character was written was so realistic. I always appreciate it when this happens, when there’s this story in which everyone responds in a different way.
For example, Yae’s mother. Although I definitely resented her a little bit for pushing Harumichi away from Yae after she had the accident, I think it’s important to understand that she was doing it purely out of concern for her daughter’s wellbeing. At that point, she probably wasn’t trying to think too much of the feelings between them, but her daughter’s happiness and recovery was more important to her than Harumichi’s broken heart. She might not have had a great impression of Harumichi from the start, but she never stopped the two of them from dating and she always smiled when she saw her daughter get all giddy by herself because of her crush. I did find it a bit double sometimes, because she kept agreeing that forcing back Yae’s memories would only be painful, but she still for example encouraged her best friend to come visit, even though Yae didn’t remember her either. Maybe she thought remembering her best friend would be okay, but remembering her boyfriend wouldn’t? It probably also had to do with the fact that Kihako may have partly blamed Harumichi for what happened, as they were supposed to be together in Tokyo and it might not have happened if he hadn’t ran away from her after their fight. But still, while in the beginning I didn’t like Kihako’s decision, after finishing the series I have no doubt in my mind that everything she did was for her daughter’s goodwill. She was really supportive when Yae started falling for Yukihito, and kind of pushed her into that direction. When Yae decided to move to Sapporo by herself, her mother also says something like, ‘I’ve always wondered whether I made the right choice for you’, and I think that’s just what it was. She felt like she needed to make a choice for Yae in her state of memory loss, which memories to keep and which to let go of. At the time, she thought it would be better if she just got a stable life with Yukihito, but of course she couldn’t have known it would turn out like that. She may have also regretted sending Harumichi away when he came for Yae after finishing his training. But that’s life; we don’t know where our choices will lead us. Something may seem like a good idea one moment, but it can always go either way. So in that, I found Kihako a very well-written character as well. She may have made a wrong decision, but she came to reflect on it in time, even when it was too late to change anything. She made an estimation when her daughter wasn’t able to make her own, she put her hopes for her daughter’s future first, and that’s just something a really devoted and caring parent would do. In the end I can forgive her because Yae and Harumichi still managed to find each other, the universe still brought them together.

Also, the issue of Yae’s father. We are introduced to him once in a flashback, when Harumichi takes Yae on a trip to meet him when they were supposed to only take a one-day trip together somewhere. While Yae’s father Akihiko (played by Iura Arata) is barely in her life, she knows him mostly because he always sent her letters from places he visited. He travelled a lot and always sent her souvenirs and this is also something inspired Yae’s love for travelling and seeing the world. He chose to leave Kihako and Yae to live with another woman he’d gotten pregnant and be a father to his daughter from that family. Kihako broke off all contact with him, but of course can’t forbid Yae from reaching out to him every once in a while. When we meet Akihiko, it’s clear that he does really care about Yae. I liked the scene where he gave her that pen and told her that the words that he always used to test if a pen works was her name. When he tells her to also pick a word like that, to write something when testing a pen, she writes Harumichi’s name. I liked how her love for him was even in reading/seeing/writing his name and it was really nice how it came back when she was an adult, that she somehow got butterflies when she’d read certain characters – the characters of Namiki’s name. It was a really nice part in which Harumichi officially got acknowledged by her dad, and I think it really meant the world to Yae. You could see how conflicted she was because part of her still resented her dad for leaving their family for that other one, she still thought he did a bad thing but she still couldn’t help missing him. It was a really important moment for her character development, and it was all the more important because Harumichi was there to support her. It definitely had a big impact on her, sharing that with him. She even initiated sleeping together for the first time that night after they missed their last flight, and that was a really big step for Yae to take and I’m 110% sure that Harumichi would’ve waited until eternity if that’s what it would’ve taken for her to decide she was ready for it.
I don’t know, I just always find it so heartwarming to see young people act like this in love, so mature for their age. They were still so young but their feelings for each other were so real and serious, it wasn’t just about physical intimacy, it’s just that they could share everything together, they really were each other’s soulmate and that’s what made it so painful to think of how Yae forgot about all of that after her accident, and how it must have messed Harumichi up. This is not the kind of relationship anyone should be allowed to forget, it was really cruel what happened and how they were torn apart. It could’ve only happened through something out of anyone’s control, and that’s exactly what did it. It wasn’t anything or anyone’s fault, it really was just an accident. A life-altering accident that took a merciless toll on two lives.

And then there’s Yukihito. I just found it so interesting that in his case too, while I didn’t particularly like his character for the way he treated Yae after they got married, I still didn’t think he was a bad person. His mother just had a very strong hold on his life and the people he mingled with, and he couldn’t really do anything about her disapproval of Yae. That is, he just never said anything about it, but also didn’t stand up for Yae. He just kind of left their feud to them while he focused on work. But what I did appreciate about him was how considerate he remained of Yae’s living situation after they got divorced. As much as I encouraged her will to take Tsuzuru’s care upon herself and prove that she could provide for her child by herself without needing his family’s money, he just wanted to lighten her situation without looking down on her. I think he could also see that she had gotten miserable in their marriage but just felt like there was nothing he could personally do about it anymore. He just offered to take Tsuzuru in to help her, and he even told her that she didn’t have to keep sending him money as a contribution to Tsuzuru’s care. He also immediately agrees to her request to see Tsuzuru more often, it’s not like he wants to keep the two from meeting or something, she’s still the mother of his child. So in this way, even though I couldn’t read a lot from his character in terms of thoughts/feelings/psyche, I didn’t think he was a bad person. He did what he could as Tsuzuru’s father, but when his son finally decides to go into music and become a producer, he also doesn’t stop him. In that final ‘3 year later’ time jump, it was funny to see how he suddenly got all these female colleagues flocking to him to ask for his son’s autograph, lol. He didn’t seem particularly bothered by it.

There are so many beautiful scenes and dialogues in this show, the way it’s filmed is really beautiful and cinematic, and it really feels like every single character and scene has a purpose and meaning. Nothing feels unnecessary and everything is very neatly wrapped up when the different timelines presented in the story start coming together. I thought it was a very simple solution to have Yae’s memory ultimately triggered through Utada Hikaru’s song, because I did hear about this before, that in cases of people with dementia music it did happen that they suddenly became lucid again after hearing a specific piece of music. It was only a tiny bit anti-climactic for me, because it was really like, the solution was there in that song all along! If only she’d listened to it earlier! As obvious and simple a solution it turned out to be, I was just happy that she finally remembered. I also thought it was good that she took her time after that to process everything before she instantly started looking for Harumichi again.
That’s another thing I want to praise about this series. Even though it deals with typical dramatic tropes like memory loss, the events are never ‘overdramatized’.
Adding a little anecdote from my personal experience with acting, I personally think that when a scene or mono/dialogue is already very heavy and dramatic in itself, using very dramatic acting to act out the scene will often diminish the effect rather than strengthen it. I once did an audition with a very heavy and emotional monologue, and I also acted it out as such, with very dramatic and heavy expressions. But then I was given the enlightening feedback that in many cases, adding even more drama to a scene that’s already dramatic in itself doesn’t necessarily make it better. My point is, the way that everyone dealt with the dramatic events in this show was all the more powerful because no one got overdramatic. People tried to tackle these things by themselves, in their own quiet ways, sometimes without even talking about it. Sure, occasionally someone bursts out crying or screaming, but it never became too exaggerated and that’s how for example the quietness in which Harumichi dealt with his pain hit me even harder. I would’ve had a different view of him if he’d constantly been crying and acting miserable about what had happened to him. So that’s what I wanted to compliment, the fact that the characters all maintained such integrity, even in the face of dire situations. It just made me aware of how unnecessary it would’ve been if they had been crying and screaming the whole time, that would’ve made for a very different review, haha.

It’s time for some cast comments! Honestly I really liked the cast, the casting choices were really refreshing and well-chosen. I couldn’t believe it when I looked up the young main leads and found out they hadn’t even done that much yet! I really hope this series brings them a lot of great future acting opportunities, because they really outdid themselves here.
My biggest compliments to every single cast member for making this such a memorable watching experience for me, I really felt like clapping for a movie at the cinema when I finished it.

I’ve only seen Mitsushima Hikari before in Quartet, and I remember her because she was my favorite character there. I didn’t really know what kind of actress she was, what her usual style was, but I really liked her sincere performance as adult Yae. I loved her integer she was, but at the same time so quirky. When she fell in love with ‘Namiki-san’, it was just like how she acted when she first fell for Harumichi as a teen, and how she was completely confused and zoned out after discovering he had a girlfriend. She was really kind to everyone, from her important people to her taxi clients, and that made her a really good fit for the job. Until the end she remained so genuine and pure, she didn’t poke her nose into anyone’s business, she really just followed her instincts when it led her somewhere. She just went and texted Namiki-san when she felt like it, unafraid to ask him out for dinner, and even though it took her some time and courage, she also just set out to travel to freaking Iceland to find him. I love how she still ended up becoming a stewardess on Harumichi’s plane. It was just so satisfying finally seeing them together in the end, fulfilling all the feelings that were left between their teenage selves when they were separated. I liked her timid yet impactful acting, the subtle details in her expressions. I couldn’t help but notice that she has such a tiny face but I really like her eyes, they have a sort of depth to them? I can’t really explain it well, but anyways, I really liked seeing her in this, it’s made me like her even more! I hope I’ll be able to see more of her acting in the future!

I recently saw Satou Takeru in Koi wa Tsuzuku yo Dokomademo, and it’s funny to think that this was actually the same person. His portrayal of Harumichi seemed to come much more natural to him, and it was nice to see this side of him. I haven’t even seen that much with him, so I like to get more than one perspective about an actor. In this show he manages to show quite a wide variety to his personality, and I think he did a really good job as he didn’t lose all of the bubbliness of teenage Harumichi, but became more of a quieter, subdued version of his young self, I thought that was very realistic. You could just see he was still the same person, but that he’d grown up and went through some hardships in the process as well. It was really nice to see him act all lovey-dovey with his niece Airu, he really just became all smiles with her, that was really cute. I think we learn a lot about Harumichi in particular throughout the series, from the way he behaves when he’s a teen to when he gives that speech on his sister and best friend’s wedding. He may have initially been kind of a delinquent, but there was never anyone more pure-hearted than this guy. I really loved Harumichi’s character and Sato Takeru’s performance was very good as someone who was trying to leave the past behind him and move on, but just kept being pulled back to that irreplaceable memory of his first love. I really felt for him, for all that he went through and no one ever really acknowledging how hard it must have been for him. It was really nice to see him act with Mitsushima Hikari, and their chemistry when they were finally reunited in the end was just all I’d been hoping for the entire show. I’m very curious to what kind of other projects he will take on in the future!

The following two youngsters deserve all the praise in the world because it was mainly because of them that I was so incredibly invested in the main leads’ relationship. The foundation that they build for their adult versions couldn’t have been established better.
Yagi Rikako is only 21 years old! She was actually born in 2001, so portraying this time period must have been very interesting for her, lol. I LOVED her. Not only is she gorgeous, but the way she portrayed teenage Yae left really little to be desired. I was just rooting for her character all the way from her first appearance. I distinctly remember her first shot was her walking along a pathway practicing a stewardess-speech towards the sky. I loved that they made her so internationally-oriented, she really wanted to study English and travel the world, which I guess is uncommon for most people growing up on an island like Japan. Anyways, she had such great energy in all her scenes and her chemistry with teenage Harumichi was TO DIE FOR. Seriously, she made me envious of not having a first love experience like that myself when I was a teenager, haha. She really faced a tough situation, I can’t even start imagining what it must feel like suddenly not remembering the past couple years of your life. I thought the way she acted out Yae’s frustration with it was very realistic, and also her decision to try not to think about it too much because it just upset her. Of course she wasn’t aware that just moving on without remembering would hurt her most important person, but she really stuck to what she believed was her best option in that situation, and that was very brave of her. Trying not to linger too much on feeling sorry for the people she may not remember and focusing on how she would go on from that point herself can’t have been an easy thing to do. I really liked her here, and I hope she’ll get many more opportunities after this, she was really amazing.

Moving on to my favorite boy, Kido Taisei! Honestly, this guy warmed my heart to the max. I didn’t think I recognized him from anything before but now I see he was in the movie LDK… which I watched not too long ago but wasn’t really that memorable so I probably deleted it from my memory ^^” Anyways, I want to give him all the praise in the world for his portrayal of teen Harumichi. He was so incredibly sweet and pure, despite his troublemaking demeanor, he was really such a good guy and he didn’t deserve something so horrible to have the girl he loved so uncontrollably with all his heart taken from him like that. The look on his face when Yae’s mom told him she’d already gotten pregnant with another man’s baby in the time he was finishing his aviation training thinking ONLY of getting back to her as soon as possible… He really moved me to tears of both joy and sorrow, and ugh that SMILE. I really loved his performance to bits and I hope that he gets to do more and more from now on. I think I saw this was actually his debut role as a main character in a drama! Good for him! I also saw that there’s actually a 5 year age difference between him and Yagi Rikako, I could’ve sworn they would’ve been the same age! To be so young and already capable of portraying such mature love for someone, he really pulled my heartstrings and was the main reason I got emotional throughout the show. He was amazing, I wish him all the best with his future acting endeavors.

It was nice seeing Kaho in a drama again after such a long time! I’ve seen multiple things with her, both dramas and movies. In Otomen, Nobunaga Concerto, Love Song, Sunadokei and Umimachi Diary. I liked seeing her again, and with such a powerful role as well. I liked that this series didn’t have any kind of ‘typical’ characters. Like, in a ‘typical’ drama, Tsunemi might have been a kind of bitchy character, the second female lead who would’ve been spiteful towards Yae for coming back and taking her fiancé away from her. But I liked that they kept her so humane as well. It didn’t even occur to her to become spiteful towards Yae, even though her appearance back into Harumichi’s life may have a direct cause of his request to break off the engagement. I think she must have been very mature to consider all the aspects of the situation, including the fact that she couldn’t do anything about Harumichi’s lingering feelings for his first love, and that she also couldn’t do anything to keep him at her side, no matter how much she wanted him to choose her. The fact that she didn’t become petty but just accepted the situation as it was and became determined to choose her own happiness over a marriage in which she’d always remain miserable despite her love for Harumichi was very powerful. I couldn’t help but feel sympathy for her, she also didn’t choose to end up in this situation and she still dealt with it the best she could. I thought Kaho did very well in this role, you could see her emotions very clearly on her face. I also liked that she had that mantra about her name and she applied it to several different situations. It didn’t just mean that she’d always be there for Harumichi to light his way back to her, but it also applied to her determination and perseverance to get through dire situations. It was pretty original to have them meet as therapist and client, initially, I didn’t see that coming. And the way they got attracted to each other also happened really naturally, if I hadn’t been so dead invested in Yae and Harumichi as end game I don’t think I would’ve minded Harumichi moving on with Tsunemi, they made a good pair in their own way. I was just happy that she really wasn’t just a rebound for Harumichi either, he really grew to like her a lot at some point, but she just didn’t stand a chance against Yae. Anyways, I liked Kaho, I hadn’t expected her to be in this so it was a nice surprise to see her again.

Apparently Minami was in the movie Sakuran and she was Mizuki’s foreign friend in the Special of HanaKimi?! It’s been too long but I definitely wouldn’t have recognized her from there. That’s such a throwback! Apparently, Minami Bages is part French! I was thinking something about her face looked European, she’s really pretty! I liked the addition of a deaf character, I can’t really say why but it just added to the deepness of the story as well. Yuu’s relationship with her brother had always been good and she never blamed him for the accident she got in, but her deafness always made Harumichi feel guilty. Because of that in itself, Yuu was a major character in terms of Harumichi’s personal story, and I think it was a big development in both of their lives that she and Bonji got married. The speech that he gave was really meaningful as well, it was a very heart-wrenching but beautiful scene. I liked how she really grew out of that younger sister role and started supporting her older brother as well, and also how friendly she was in general. She and her daughter Airu made a really cute pair, I loved their mother-daughter moments, that Airu was also able to use sign language even as a child, and that she’d pull her mom out of the way when a bike came towards her and she didn’t hear it coming. Just the way everyone in the story accepted her this way and never made her feel like she was a bother or that they were ashamed of her handicap or something (it happens, you know). Despite her handicap she really turned out great, and I loved her and Bonji together as well. She performed really well, I really wanted to hug her on several occasions.

The fact that teen Bonji was one of the students from 3-nen A-gumi! I feel like I now recognize so many young actors from there, haha. I thought Bonji was really well-casted and the young and old versions looked so much alike? The resemblance was uncanny!
I see that Nakao Akiyoshi was in Watashi ga Renai Dekinai Riyuu, and I also see he got casted in the Japanese version of Itaewon Class in Seung Kwon’s role! I haven’t seen anything else with him, though. Anyways, even though Bonji didn’t appear that much, I think teen Bonji mostly appeared in the flashbacks in the beginning, he also was a very important person to Harumichi. He was like a rock, the loyal best friend who’d never leave his side. He knew all there was to know about what Harumichi went through with Yae, and even though he was rooting for him to become happy and move on from his painful memories, he was just there to support his friend all the way. That scene when he and Yuu got married and he had that rooster head hairstyle, lol! They definitely remained true to themselves until the end, haha.

So I thought I didn’t know Araki Towa from anything, but apparently he was in Shinigami-kun?! Again, too long ago, but it’s just funny to me because that series is OLD, lol. Anyways, I liked his portrayal of Tsuzuru! His story really stood on its own legs and it wasn’t just that he was the female lead’s son, he really was his own person and I respected that. Growing up the way he did, with his parents separating and his dad mainly having such high expectations of him, I get that that couldn’t have been easy and that he never felt free to show his dad what kind of music he’d been working on. The fact that he had this passion for something but didn’t feel like he was able to express it or even talk about it with other people. He really needed some peers, and he found one in Uta. The way he fell in love with her was also so natural and logical, in a way, she was literally floating when she danced and she was so free-spirited and uncomplicated. I guess he really needed to be pulled out of his shell by someone like her to finally admit to music being his calling. I liked to see how his relationship with his mother also visibly improved, he seemed kind of awkward with her in the beginning but when she started supporting him in his music-making, it really didn’t take that long for him to open up to her more. I don’t know if he even knew about his mother’s amnesia, maybe she never told him. But it was nice to see that he also supported her in getting to know Namiki-san, he even gave her a cute cardigan telling her she should start dating again, haha.
In any case, Tsuzuru was such a relatable character, he went through something so familiar, I guess everyone has felt like at least at some point in their life. The thrill of having a crush on someone for the first time, but also the heartbreak when you realize the other person doesn’t see you that way. And then again the thrill when you put in real effort to pursue them and your efforts pay off and you’re able to express yourself through the one thing that you’re best at. His story was a really endearing addition, and again gave some really good opportunities to a couple of young and talented actors!

I’m not even surprised that Yamada Aoi is a professional dancer, but I didn’t expect this to be her one and only drama acting role to date! The acting seemed to come so natural to her! But yeah, she is definitely a dancer, the way she moved wasn’t just someone playing the role of a dancer. I’m glad she got to shine so much with her dancing skills in this series, her performances were really amazing. I can imagine why Tsuzuru would get mesmerized by her! I really liked Uta-chan (I saw in some cast list her full name is actually Komori Uta, which means ‘lullaby’, that’s so cute!). She was a breath of fresh air, a bright and dazzling addition to this show’s cast. I liked how she didn’t remain as just the object of Tsuzuru’s fascination, that she really was given a chance to respond to his heartfelt confession. As she was mostly running out enjoying her carefree life, it didn’t seem like she’d be the type to want to deal with emotional and serious situations, but I’m really glad she gave Tsuzuru an honest chance. She was so charming in her own quirky, bubbly way. I really liked how much her personality stood in contrast to Tsuzuru, but in that aspect they were matched really well. I hope she can do some more acting like this in the future, she is really talented!

Apparently I recognize Hamada Gaku from Nobunaga Concerto as well, but it’s been a long time since I watched that. In any case, can we just appreciate the performance of this guy as Yae’s colleague Urabe Otaro? I just loved what they did with this guy’s character. From the start he seemed to be kind of a comic relief character, and when Yae agreed to having dinner together I was initially kind of like, ‘no way, right?’, but he ended up being such a great supporting figure to Yae. Even if they didn’t date, he really had been supporting her from the start and he wanted her to follow her heart so badly as well. That final monologue he had when they said goodbye at the train station that one time, when he reminded her of her first taxi driver days and told her to hold her head up high, that was really touching. I just loved how he made Yae realize she’d had such a supportive person in him all along, I don’t think anyone ever spoke to her like that before, with such encouragement and admiration. And I really loved him for manipulating their boss into approving Yae’s 40 days’ leave of absence. I mean come on, she was their best employee and she hadn’t asked for a single day off before and now he was going to put punishment regulations on her leave of absence request? I loved how he just went, ‘Eh, I didn’t know this was that kind of company where they don’t even allow their best employee a well-deserved break…’, that was a really nice comeback of him. He just turned out to be a much better person that I thought, so mature how he dealt with his own rejection and how he didn’t become bitter but kept rooting for Yae. I liked him.

I was surprised to see Mukai Osamu in this as well, I’ve seen him in a bunch of stuff before like Mei-chan no Shitsuji, Hotaru no Hikari 2, Nobunaga Concerto (again!), and the movies Hanamizuki and Paradise Kiss. I think he was a good fit for the role of doctor and father-figure to Tsuzuru. What redeemed him for me was really his continued support for Yae, how he just wanted her to have an easy life even if he didn’t get involved with her anymore. He kept being considerate of her living situation, even if it was just because she was the mother of his child and he felt obliged to do so. I think it showed good manners. On the other hand, I thought he really should’ve said something about his mother’s treatment of his wife, because now he just made it seem like he agreed with whatever she said to Yae. He could’ve stuck up for her more, like he fell in love with her, got married to her and had a child with her even though he knew about her background, right? He must’ve done that because he accepted her the way she was, so hearing his mother talk to Yae like that should’ve gotten some sort of reaction out of him, in my opinion. In any case, even though he appeared pretty strict to Tsuzuru when it came to his studies, it did seem like in the end he let him choose his own path, which I appreciated. All in all I thought it was nice that Mukai Osamu got casted for the role, although I like to see him as more sympathetic characters, haha.

I’ve seen Iura Arata before in Rich Man, Poor Woman, Tantei no Tantei, Unnatural and in the movies Air Doll, Hanamizuki and Kimi ni Todoke. I was surprised to see his name appear in the opening credits and I was really curious to see what role he would play, and it turned out he was Yae’s father. He only appeared one time, in the flashback where Yae and Harumichi visit him, and I liked his fashion style, haha. I also liked the duality about his character, like he seemed like a good enough person even though he hadn’t been much of a father to Yae. Was he a bad person for choosing that other family? It’s all about perspective. His current family probably thinks of him as a good person for making that choice. Anyways, he made a nice guest appearance, I liked his performance, even though it was short.

I feel like I should know Koizumi Kyoko from something but I don’t! She looks so familiar, though… Anyways, I really liked her as Yae’s mother. She seemed like kind of an eccentric lady at first, but in a good and fun way. Not the kind of mother you’d expect from Yae, though, as she was such a model student and exemplary daughter, haha. But I liked that Yae developed that kind of quirkiness her mother possessed a bit more herself as well as she got older. As I mentioned before, I didn’t think that she made the right choice in pushing Harumichi away from her daughter under the excuse of ‘triggering her memory in a hurtful way’ but didn’t think to do the same with Yae’s other close friends who were close with Harumichi as well. Maybe she did kind of use the situation to get rid of Harumichi because she wanted her daughter to end up with someone with a bit more of a social status. But I can forgive her because she was purely thinking of Yae’s wellbeing. In this situation, when it all comes to your decision on what to do and you have to make a choice for your child that won’t hurt her any more than she’s already been hurt, what would a normal parent do? I have absolutely no idea. In any case, I think it’s safe to say that Kihako also had enough time to reflect on the choices she made, and it really doesn’t make her a bad person. I liked her personality, she was much so relaxed with Yae and while she’d only applaud her daughter when she came from with A’s from school, she never pressured her into overachieving or anything like that. She was just a really warm mom who’d always be there for her daughter. She welcomed Yae back with open arms when she moved back into her childhood home with her, taking Tsuzuru along after her divorce. She really did all she could to stand by her daughter. I liked how humane her character was, Koizumi Kyoko did a really good job portraying a mother being put into a dire situation like that.

One final shoutout to Harumichi’s parents, who were played by Watanabe Makiko and Okabe Takashi. They may not have appeared that many times, but they contributed so much to the scenes of teen Harumichi in his interactions with his family. I loved how they didn’t even scold their son even after he made a mess at school for hitting someone who talked ill of Yuu’s deafness. That scene where they were called into the teacher’s office and blatantly faking their apology and the teacher was like ‘Apparently the guy he hit made fun of your daughter’ and they went ‘Oh, well in that case’, haha. I just really liked their performances, even in the background. You could see where Harumichi got his easygoing nature from, and I love how they just accepted him and all his flaws and when they scolded him it was never really serious.

So I think I’ve said what I wanted to say about the story and the characters!
As I mentioned, this drama really was straight up my alley in terms of pace, story and character building. I love a good romance story, and this show really got me hooked from the start. I put my rating on an 8 quite early on, but I wanted to add a little extra to it because the cinematography and soundtrack were also so great and I just really loved the attention to detail in the references. Heck, it even made me nostalgic of listening to Utada Hikaru songs! Utada Hikaru was still everywhere when I first started watching Japanese dramas, so it was kind of throwback for me as well. I loved the build-up in the story, how they used historical and political events to build the timeline, and the chemistry between the leads, both young and old, was really satisfying. I really enjoyed watching this, it really made me feel like I was watching a movie, it was a different experience from the usual drama series I watch, even in quality. I’m really glad I moved it up on my list, because as soon as I saw the trailer I was just like, I can’t wait too long with this!! And then I heard some other people were watching it and that just set off my impatience with it, haha. So yeah, higher rating than usual for this one! I really hope they will continue to make gems like these, it really is one of the best Japanese dramas I’ve seen in a very long time. The balance in the themes, from light to heavy, the sincerity of everyone’s performances, I want to give medals to everyone who worked on this. Even though some parts may have been a bit predictable, it didn’t take away from how well-written it was. I don’t care for any negative comments on this one, I loved it.

Next up is something entirely different which I’ve also been hyped ever since I saw the trailer. It’s not the kind of series I’d normally watch in terms of genre, but I really want to give it a chance. Thanks for reading until the end again and I’ll be back with my next review soon! Just to let you know, I’m going to be switching it up a bit more between more recent released and older ones, so stay tuned!

Bye-bee! ^^